Meghan, My Chaos

Chapter 55

Meghan's POV

1:07 A.M.

Kanina pa ako gising simula nang mag-ring 'yong phone ni Adrien. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't get myself to do it nang marinig na 'yong mom niya iyong tumawag sa kaniya ng ganitong oras.

I tried my best not to make it obvious that I'm awake, kaya hindi talaga ako gumalaw o sinubukan manlang idilat 'yong mga mata ko. It sounds like his mother found out that he's not going to school these past few days dahil naririnig kong nag-aaway sila tungkol sa grades niya.

"Just- just give me a few more days, okay? I promise I won't let this whole thing affect my grades," mahinang sabi niya, and I felt my heart ache because of the thought that his Mom is getting worried about him. "Just let me handle this on my own, Mom. I'll be fine, I promise."

I felt guilty as I imagine the look on his mother's face pag nalaman niyang his perfect son is with a girl who's being chased by her own father and is now going broke. I wonder how much she'll hate me pag nakilala niya ako, but I doubt that will ever happen. I'm not really the type men would want to introduce to their parents. Mapapahiya ko lang si Adrien.

"Please don't do tell him anything. I swear I'll be back before you even know it," sabi ni Adrien, making me feel even more guilty, because I know he's not sure kung kailan siya makakabalik. He lied to his mom.

Am I even worth it? Should I really be dragging Adrien to my fucked up life just because we're in love with each other? Is love really worth it para sirain ko 'yong buhay niya?

My attention shifted back to Adrien at muntik na akong mapadilat nang banggitin niya 'yong pangalan ko.

"Her name is Meghan. And yes, I'm not gonna ruin my life," mariin na sabi niya, making me feel like a disaster that came and ruined everything good in his life.  "I need to go, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. Bye," he said, and after that, wala na akong narinig pa.

It was the silence between us that made me settle into a decision.

I have to convince him to go home to his family and continue living the way he did before all of this. Before he found out that I existed. Before he fell in love with me. I have to do this.

I was about to open my eyes and tell him that I was listening to his conversation with his mother, when I suddenly felt him sitting beside me. I stayed still at hinintay kung anong gagawin niya.

"Don't worry, Meghan. I'm never gonna leave you," he whispered, making the butterflies in my stomach go alive again. I felt him getting closer to me, and finally planted a kiss on my forehead, making me want to cry my eyes out for the rest of the night. "Sleep well, princess."

With those three sentences he mumbled softly to me, and the way he said the word 'never', I knew that there's no way I'll convince him to leave me.

And now, I am left with no other choice, kung hindi ang iwan siya.

I am not good for him. I don't think I ever will be.

If I really love him, I should let him go and get the girl he deserves. I shouldn't let him settle for someone like me. Basura at kahihiyan lang ako sa isang kagaya niya. I've always been a disgrace to my family, and now I'm gonna be a disgrace to him. I can't let that happen.

As soon as I felt him fall asleep beside me, I opened my eyes at sinilip siya.

Agad kong pinagsisihan na tiningnan ko pa siya, because the sight of him sleeping and looking so calm and at home beside me is making me have second thoughts about leaving him. Napansin ko nalang na sunod-sunod na palang tumutulo 'yong mga luha ko habang nakatitig sa kaniya.