Meghan, My Chaos

Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Flashback

Meghan Ferren's POV

After telling the driver to go to the condo where Jaden's staying, napapikit ako at sumandal sa kotse.

I felt scared.

For the first time in a while, I felt scared and it's not because of Rhys, nor my parents.

It's because of my own feelings.

Nilabas ko ulit yung flask ko at uminom. It's only 2:39 in the afternoon at parang gusto ko nalang uminom nang uminom.

I like him. I really do like him. I've never felt like this before. I've kissed a lot of guys and slept with some of them, but they weren't able to give me this feeling.

I felt hurt, noong marinig ko na may girlfriend siya. Natakot ako. Because for the first time, I think I might actually fall in love. But he's an asshole. He'll break my heart. Natatakot akong masaktan ng ganun.

Kinuha ko yung phone ko at nagreply kay Jaden. Ang dami kong messages from Rhys pero hindi ko nalang 'yon binasa.

[Kamusta na? Did you get there?]

[Did you see him?]

[Why aren't you replying? Nagpapanic na ako]

[Meghan, please. If you don't reply within an hour, pupunta na ako dyan]

Napangiti nalang ako at nagtype ng irereply. Jaden's so kind.

[I'm on my way there. I wanna drink.]

Binalik ko na yung phone ko sa bulsa at sumandal nalang sa upuan while looking out the window. Sobrang dilim na ngayon, mukhang uulan na anytime soon.

Biglang may mga pumasok na what if sa utak ko.

What if what I heard isn't true? Na wala talaga siyang girlfriend? What if he doesn't find me? And what if he's the one at pinakawalan ko pa?

Bahala na. Madami pa namang ibang lalaki.

But I only felt this with him.

Hay nako, putangina! Bakit ba kasi ang sarap niya? Naiinlove na ata tuloy ako.

But it's not about the kiss. Alam ko sa sarili ko that it's not about his lips, tongue, nor teeth. It's not about how his hands touched my waist. I've met a lot of guys na mas magaling makipaglaplapan kaysa sakanya.

Then what is it if it's not the kiss??

Tumigil na yung taxi sa harap ng condo ni Jaden at nagbayad na ako. Sayang. Malapit na kami ni Adrien eh, dadalhin ko sana siya dito para gamutin yung mga pasa at sugat niya.

Lumabas na ako ng taxi at naglakad papasok sa condo.

I felt different with Adrien. And it's weird kasi most of the time, nagsisigawan lang kami nagsisigawan. But it felt nice. Kahit magbatuhan pa kami ng mga plato buong araw, it feels like I'd rather be with him than with anyone else.

But he ruined it. Bahala na siya dyan.

Nasa elevator na ako at wala parin akong ibang maisip kundi si Adrien.