<~| Can't Get Away • Shameless Fic |~>

En Garde!

Parker’s Pov.
I am a genius! Give me a second, just gotta find a screwdriver.

“What the fuck” Mickey groaned, probably being woken up by me clattering around the bedroom.

“Morning” I smiled at him.

“What are you wearing?” Mickey asked, meaning the suit I found.

“Oh you mean this? It was just something I threw on” I smirked before exiting the bedroom.

Mickey followed me out into the living room, where there were now a bunch for suitcases.

“What the fuck” he groaned.

“Okay, so your suitcase gave me an idea right?” I started “So I went to the airport and they even have unclaimed baggage just off to the side, just sitting there” I exclaimed, finally opening the suitcase 

“Are you wearing mink?” Mickey asked Svetlana who he noticed was in the kitchen

“No it’s fake, but it’s nice yes?” she asked.

“No, It’s not nice. Look I hate to burst your bubbles here, you both look fucking insane, this all you got?” Mickey ranted.

“We have, electric shavers, jamacian rum… and this” I smirked, holding up a huge dildo.

“That has a hair on it” Mickey cringed.

“What? You don’t want it?” I smirked, starting to walk towards him.

“No I- You touch me with that I will knock the teeth, out of your head”

“I don’t understand? With this?” I taunted.

“I will knock the teeth-

“En garde!” I swung the dildo like a sword, making Mickey run away from me.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” He yelled.

“En garde! Pow!” I laughed, making lightsaber noises as well.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he yelled again “This is not funny, It’s not, fucking starwars” He exclaimed.

I chucked the dildo at him, hitting him smack in the face. I burst out in laughter along with Svetlana.

“Oh you think you’re so fucking funny huh? Huh?” Mickey smirked, flipping me upside down and spinning me.

“Mickey put me down!” I yelled.

“Not a chance Parker! This is what you get!” He laughed.

It was a great morning. I wish everything could just stay this happy forever.

~~

Mickeys Pov.
Okay Parker has officially gone insane. The house looks like a fucking thrift store.

“Why are there boots in the sneakers pile? We gotta keep this organized okay? Uh, where are the belts” She asked herself, as she walked around the house “Alright I put them there, obviously they’ve been moved!” She exclaimed.

“Your girlfriend’s losing her shit” Svet stated the obvious.

“Mickey help me keep this organized okay” She smiled back at me.

Jeez she looks so fucking happy, trying to help pay for everything. But this has to stop! I don’t know what else I can do. Fucking hell!

~~

I walked into our bedroom in the morning just as Parker was waking up.

“Morning” she smiled, sleepily.

God her fucking bedhead is adorable. No! Please! Damn it, Mick! Focus!

“I need to talk to you” I sighed 

“I don’t feel like talking,” she shrugged.

“I need to talk to you man come o- Aye! Aye!” I yelled at Iggy who walked in the door “Come in here without knocking again, I’m gonna aim my rugger in your fat fucking face and empty the cliff” I threatened,

“Looks like the only place you’re aiming is down your girlfriend's throat” he smirked, I just flipped him off “I got you smokes, and that’s not all, this was stapled to the bulletin board at the rag heads” Iggy handed me a wanted sign.

“Who the fuck’s this?” I questioned.

“You stupid!” he exclaimed.

“Shit” I sighed, Iggy just laughed “That’s not funny asshole”

“What’s with all the fucking suitacses?” Iggy asked.

“Go! Get out of here!” I shoved him out of the room.

“It doesn’t look anything like you, no one’s gonna be busting down the door” Parker grumbled, looking at the paper.

“I know but now there’s too much heat to do the moving truck scam” I groaned.

“Try stealing more suitcases?” Parker asked.

“You got more than enough of those!” I exclaimed.

“Try running numbers again” Parker added.

“Great! It’s like a CEO going back to being a fry cook” I grumbled “First the rub n tug, now this shit” I sighed “So an ontrepanuor can’t start a business in this damn neighborhood. The cops can kiss my ass”

“I’m already doing it instead” Parker smirked, undoing my jeans.

I dunno what going on with the sudden sex drive. Parker was never against it, but she didn’t walk around begging for it, like at all. Though I’m not really complaining.

“Well that feels good” I sighed.

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