Now or Never (An Austin Mahone and Crew Love Story)

The Way She Is

Alex’s Pov

I looked down into her beautiful caramel eyes and watched as they brimmed fuller and fuller with tears. What in her life could be so horrible that agreeing to trust me would make her cry? Who hurt her so badly that she can’t even give me a chance without reducing herself to tears? I felt so bad that she was hurting. I tightened my arms around her shoulders and pulled her into my chest. 

Her tears stained the t-shirt I’d borrowed from Austin, but she wouldn’t hug me back. I tried to soothe her, but nothing I did seemed to help her. She continued to cry and be caught up in whatever world she’d lived in before she came here. Olivia never tried to pull away, but continued to sob into my chest. Out of everything I could think of that could possibly make her feel better, nothing worked. No amount of words or hugs could calm her.

Although I refused to show it, I was becoming frustrated to no end. There had never been a day before in my life when a girl had cried on my shoulder. Even my little cousin was unwilling to sob into my chest the way Olivia was doing now. Holding my cousin’s hand and just talking to her made everything better, but I couldn’t find a way to calm Livi.  I’ve never been in a place where I couldn’t make someone smile. Every other person in the world seemed so easy to figure out, but Olivia kept everything hidden beneath the surface.

Everything about her was different. The way she talked, the way she thought, and the way she wrote, but best of all, I don’t think she knows she’s different. I’ve dated a lot of girls, and up until this point I’ve been able to put all of them in categories by what they want. Some wanted to be accepted, some wanted money, or fame, and some wanted.. Well me. You know what I mean. But with Olivia, I just couldn’t find a category that would fit her. 

That’s what I liked about her. The challenge to find out who she is. Not only was she gorgeous, but she was innocent. Fourteen years old, and she’s only had one real kiss. 

Austin warned me about her innocence. He sees things differently than I do, that or Scott was feeding him a speech. It could’ve been either, but he told me not to force her out of her innocence and make her someone she’s not. He told me not to change her like I changed the other girls by being honest, rude, and pushy. He told me to be careful with her heart. 

I looked down at Olivia’s crying form and finally saw the innocence he wanted me to see. I wasn’t just two years older than her, but I was so much older in general. I’ve wanted and done things she probably never even imagined she’d think about one day. She was still a child. Not that I wasn‘t because, I was probably going to have to buy a pocket dictionary to keep up with her vocabulary, but I was ready for so much more in a relationship than she is. She’s only starting out. 

I was going to have to be gentle and patient, and let’s face it. That’s not what any guy wants to realize after he asks a girl out, but I’m not the kind of guy that’s going to go back and regret it. I really liked Olivia, and I wanted to get to know her. If that meant I would have to accept the challenge of self control in a relationship, I’d do it. The question was how well I could control myself.

“Livi?” I asked as I pulled her face up from my chest so I could see her eyes. “Why is all of this so hard?”

She gasped for air and tried to respond. “No one ever… I…” She buried her head in my chest again for a second and looked back up at me. “I can‘t tell you right now. I‘m so sorry.”

I took my fingers and wiped away her tears like those guys I always made fun of in romance movies. “Don‘t be sorry. This is how you are. You‘ll tell me when you‘re ready.” I kissed her on the cheek, and by some miracle, she stopped crying.She sat up and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.”

We sat there for a little longer while she tried to gain control of her breathing. “My dad.”

“What?” I asked.

“My dad. He ruined my trust for everyone. We‘re his second family. He has an ex wife and three other kids and all that. My brother was a result of his drunken affair with my mom. He divorced his first wife for my mom without telling anyone. We just found out last year. He tried writing a book about it.”

She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. I hugged her to my side. “You don‘t have to tell me if it hurts so much. I don‘t want you to be hurting.”

She shook her head and met my eyes. “I want you to understand.” She paused to see if I would respond, but I let her go. “My mom was so mad that he never told her that she almost got a divorce. Jake was mad because he was a mistake.

“How do you trust people after someone you thought you knew so well turned out to be a fake? He‘s such a jerk. How do I know his late nights at work aren‘t playdates with other women? Then he goes and tells me I‘ll never amount to anything. That I can‘t publish a book. I‘ll never be able to do it. Isn‘t he the one that‘s supposed to believe in me when no one else does?”

Her hands shook as she took a deep breath and I grabbed them to steady them. “Then you kissed me and told me I was pretty and worth it and made me feel like I can do anything. What if you‘re lying? How do I know you aren‘t just like him? But who am I to question that? So even though I think that every time I meet some one, I have to find a way to make myself trust people, because when I don‘t, I hurt people.”

I pulled her closer and she looked down at her feet. “You‘ll figure it out. Not everyone is going to be like him. I promise.”

She smiled at me, stood up, and left the room, but not without kissing me on the cheek again. I shook my head when she was gone. “Wow.” 

Austin strolled back into the room with a grin on his face. “How‘d that go?”

I sighed. “Honestly? I have no idea.”

He laughed. “Finally met your match, huh?”

For some reason I smiled. “Yeah. Yes. Yes I did?” It sounded like a question.

Austin pushed me over so I was laid out flat on his bed. “Dang. You REALLY like her.”

I sat up and pushed him back. “Shut up!”

He laughed. “Scott thinks it‘s, and I quote, ‘Absolutely adorable.’ He wants you guys to go public with it. Well as long as all your parents don‘t have a problem with that. Not that it matters too much. It‘s been like two hours and the internet‘s all blown up about it.”

And to think figuring out Olivia was going to be the least of my problems. There’s probably going to be a horde of angry teenage girls out to get my girlfriend because they claimed me first. That’s cute. “Oh my god. How bad is it?”

Austin chuckled. “It‘s ‘Make Alex Single’ bad,” he said with the little hand quotes. “I‘m sorry about that. I mean, I couldn‘t stop this, but maybe it wouldn‘t have been as bad if I hadn‘t been so mad at first. I made it worse. She‘s going to be under so much stress.”

I shook my head. She already was, but like I said about her being different; I don’t think she knows. To be honest, I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s fine. Not like one of those crazy people think they’re fine, but she thinks it’s normal. It’s not. 

I’d never admit it to Austin, because let’s face it, I’m a guy. There was no way I’d going to go around spouting off my feelings, but all I really wanted to make it work for Livi and me. I started the whole mess by trying to kiss her, well, kissing her if we’re being specific, but I wanted to be there to clean up the aftermath for her. She was my princess, and she wasn't going to lift a finger; even if she wanted to. But like I said; I was never going to say that out loud.

Truthfully though, I felt different about Olivia than I felt about any of the other girls I’ve dated. I felt more protective, and interested.