Now or Never (An Austin Mahone and Crew Love Story)

Never Say Never

I sat my phone on Scott’s desk, turned, and walked out. I got the elevator by myself and led myself outside. I still couldn’t understand why I was so torn up about it. We were best friends for eight years. Eight years! Of all the things he could have kept a secret, I was slightly offended it was something so big. Sure I’d kept my writing from him, but… I sat on a bench and continuously tried to convince myself everything was fine. 

I liked him for all these years. He’s funny and amazing and the only person in the world I can trust with anything, including my life. The relationship Kylie and I had was nothing compared to the eight year long expedition I had with Dillon. In a way it all made sense that I was starting to fall for him. Scott was wrong about girls and guys being just friends, because they can be, but in nine out of ten cases someone’s going to develop a crush on the other. It’d be insanely easy just to ignore it and pretend you don’t like them because your friendship is too sacred. 

People do that all the time, and maybe all along my subconscious knew and was just trying to protect me from what it knew, and tell me I didn’t like him, even though I’d proved myself wrong. I did like him, and maybe I still do. Obviously he’s never going to like me back now. Is that why I was crying? Or was I crying because I was scared things were going to be different now. Maybe I was crying because Scott really was right, and Austin was going to walk off with all the fame because I refused to date him. Why was I crying?

Dillon and I have been through so much that it shouldn’t matter. Nothing should ever change eight years of friendship, no matter how big it is. Austin came through the front doors of the building and sat next to me. He didn’t say a word, or even look at me. He just made a point of sitting as close to me as humanly possible and stared straight ahead. I continued to cry, but out of no where he began coughing obnoxiously.

I laughed. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to make sure you‘re okay. Scott‘s being a…”

“Fork licker?”

He looked at me funny. “Sure. But seriously, I don‘t know what‘s up with him. It‘s like he‘s out to get you this morning. Are you okay? You‘re still crying.”

Of course, just because something inside me wanted to make a fool of itself, I cried thirty times harder and shook my head. I wanted to be okay, because every thought in my head told me I was being stupid, but every bit of my emotions wanted to break down. My emotions won.

Austin sat there unsure of what to do. “If it makes you feel any better, I‘ve read your stories and I believe in you. It was my idea to come get you. Scott said you were too young, but I said it was worth it. I think that‘s why Scott‘s being so hard on you. He doesn‘t believe someone our age can make it in the writing industry because so few people have. He didn‘t want to take the risk, but I convinced him to risk it. No matter what I‘ll be here, even if Scott runs you out of the office every time we have a meeting with him.”

I reached my arms out for a hug, because suddenly I decided I could trust Austin. I didn’t care if what he said was all a lie and that I could be letting my guard down just to get hurt. Trust was something I usually had a hard time giving out, but for some reason I gave it to him.

He pulled one arm around my shoulders and I wrapped my arms around his middle until I calmed my tears. “Why am I so stupid?” I asked him once I was calm enough to speak.

He put both of his arms around me. “You‘re not stupid.” 

“Then why did I cry?” I asked. “Why does it matter if he‘s gay or not? He‘s my best friend.”

“I think you know why you cried,” he said. “And it‘s not stupid. It‘s human. You‘ve known him for so long. It was bound to happen.”

“I liked him for an entire eight years, but I convinced myself he was just a friend, and I never saw it.”

Austin hugged me tighter. "You just didn‘t want to admit it to yourself. I bet that deep down somewhere you always knew; maybe even before he did.”

I rested my head on his shoulder. “What if everything‘s different now?” I didn’t want anything to change. “What if we can‘t look at each other the same way anymore?”

Austin sighed. “You gave up something the second you stepped on the plane. Your life is changing and I think this is God‘s way of showing that change has been there all along. Does it truly matter if he‘s gay? Are you afraid of people like that?”

“No. There‘s nothing wrong with it. I can‘t relate, but that‘s who they are. It doesn‘t matter.”

“If it doesn‘t matter, then nothing about your friendship will change. He‘s still the same guy he always was.”

I let go and pulled back. “Now I just feel bad for crying. He probably thinks I’m never going to talk to him again. What if he never talks to me again because he wasn’t ready for anyone to know?”

Austin sighed. “There‘s a now or never moment in everyone‘s life, Olivia. Yours was stepping on the plane; Dillon‘s was that phone call. When the world asks the question, ‘Now or never?’ There’s nothing you can do to escape it. No matter what, you have to choose. You took the chance and you choose ‘now’. Don‘t regret this.”

“It‘s too late to worry about it now isn‘t it? Whatever happens is already happening?”

Austin nodded and stood up. “And by the way, when you‘re chasing your dreams, there‘s a lot of now or never moments.”

“And let me guess,” I said. “Never say never?”

His smile grew huge. “Now you‘re catching on.”

We walked in the front door of the building. “Alright. Now or never. Three choices,” Austin said. “We walk away from Scott and find our own way, stand up to this fool and say we‘re going to prove best friends can make it, or have an extremely awkward conversation about our relationship status right here?”

“Plan B,” I said. “Just friends.”

He put his hand on my shoulder and steered me to the elevator. “That‘s just what I was thinking.”

Scott wasn’t pleased when we came back with our minds set on a different decision than his, but he let us go. 

“Now Olivia,” he said, “You and I need to make a plan and decide which story‘s best, so we can finish, edit, and publish it.”

“I‘ll let you pick,” I told him. “I don’t have a preference when it comes to my own writing.” 

“Okay, but are there any story‘s you don‘t want to see published?”

I thought about that for a second. “Any of the stories in the file, ‘My Blog. ‘ Those are real, and if people see what I write about them… I don‘t want to hurt anybody.”

Scott nodded. “Alright. Then I won‘t even open that file. Hmm… I suppose if you two are going to be selling it as best friends you should try hanging out in front of Austin‘s fans and talking about each other and all that. Maybe you should put her in your Ustream broadcast tomorrow like you do with your friend Alex sometimes. That’d be a good way to start, and it might even get her some followers on Twitter.”

Viral videos and online fans are obviously the fastest way to get famous these days. If you follow them online, then you’re probably willing to buy their merchandise and after that people outside the internet start to notice. I think that’s what Scott’s hoping for for us, because he’s not quite sure what to make of us. 

“I bet we can even drag Olivia to all of your formal meetings with producers, Austin. Maybe they‘ll be quicker to sell it if they know you have a lady to get the guy‘s attention.” He winked.

I looked down at myself. Since when do I get guy’s attention? Austin laughed. “We can take her and see what happens.”