Chapter 51

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I got in the car with JP and we drove to my old house. I told him to go away and that I was fine but he didn't. But I left him, and went inside and found a chair and looked at the ceiling. The was a perfect place. I grabbed a my old gun I placed it in front of me, I looked at it for a good couple of minutes before I got up and went and took a shower.
When I was done i got dressed and went to the living room and sat right in front of the gun.

All I have to do is pull the trigger and then boom. I'll be gone, Charles will probably marry someone nice better, he'll have more kids, Noah will grow up hating me, and.... Josie will have her baby and be married again, Finn and Liz with live with their kids and Adam with Zoe, everyone will be happy, they were all happy before I met them, before the night at the bar, if I hadn't meet Charles and have sex with him then Noah couldn't have happened. Elijah.... he could've still been alive. And.......
As I was thinking about all of the I hear Charles's voice. He came. "Natalie, Natalie. Natalie what are you doing." I didn't realize that I was already holding onto the gun. "I'm...... I'm done. You know what he said when I went to see him, that he liked having me for the second time. Charles what is wrong with me? I feel like I need to die for everyone's life to bet better. I-" I put my finger on the trigger ready to do it. "Don't do it. If you do it, I'll be lost. And how I am going to rise our son without you?. Your the brain while i just follow your orders. Noah needs you, and the kid in you belly needs you too. We all need you Natalie St James Blake. So don't you dare pull the trigger." He took one step closer to me. "I'm sorry." I did it. I pulled the trigger but nothing came out and he comes and grabs it and throws it away from me and hugs me tightly. "I love you. And I cannot live without you." I hugged him tightly and sobbed.

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