chapter 15

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Christ's POV.

When I was younger, I struggled with the missing mother figure in my life. My mother left my father when I was four so growing up, not having a lot of your moms side of the family around, sucks. I was always that kid without a mom. I always felt a big empty space in me that could only be filled by love. So when I asked Natalie to marry me and she said yes, I was so happy. I finally had someone who would love me unconditionally and fill that whole in me. Until it hit me, I didn't want to put all that pressure for love, on her. I realized that I wanted to fill that hole so bad, that I wasn't even focused on loving and marrying Natalie for her. I was trying to marry Natalie to fix me, and that wasn't her job. I'm not saying that I didn't love her, god I loved her the moment I saw her. But I needed to fix myself before getting with anyone else. I remember when we first met. It was the summer of 2012 when she walked into the little bar that was near our army base. She was one of the new girls that came in that year as a nurse. Everybody had eyes for her, including me but I wasn't going to sit around and stare like everyone else. I was brave enough to get up and talk to her. the day I talked to her was the day we got lost in the Afghanistan and I still remember it.

Flashback.

"So we're stuck here until what?" She said. I could tell that she was panicking; after all she's just a nurse. We were in the middle of traveling to an area where a nurse was needed when we were ambushed and separated from the group. We were currently hiding behind bushes. "Until it's safe to go out. We'll just lay low until it's time." She put on a brave face but I could tell that deep down she was frightened. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was gonna be okay but I knew she would figure out I was lying. After minutes of waiting and checking our surroundings, I knew we had to get a move on. "Ok St James, let's go." She grabbed her stuff and off we went.

Out in the open, in the middle of running and ducking, I got shot. I don't think she noticed because I was behind her but I think she picked up on the fact that I was slowing down. "Let's stop for a minute." I said trying to catch my breath. "What's wrong with you Lt?" She asked. "I'm fine, I just need to lay down for a minute." I didn't want to look weak in front of her but I was in so much pain. "You got shot?" She said guessing. I guess she noticed the blood coming from my shoulder. She tried coming close to me to inspect the wound but I stopped her. "Stop. I'm-" "Lt, please just let me do my job and then I'll let you do yours when I'm done." I sighed and nodded my head. She laid me down on the sand while she used what she had in her bag to take care of me.

Now.

I knock on her door before walking inside. I see Noah on the bed with Natalie, Zoe sitting down on the chair across from Natalie's bed and Charles nowhere to be found. "Well....um....hi Zoe." She looks at me with a death glare. "Christ." She said very sharp and to the point. "Hey Zoe, why don't you take Noah home, it's getting late anyways." Natalie says. Zoe grabs Noah and shuffles past me out the door. "So, how are you feeling today?" I ask, struggling to make eye contact with her. "Good...... you know If you didn't want to be here, you could've got a nurse to check up on me." When I finally look her in the eye, I don't acknowledge her statement.

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