Leviticus

Chapter 34

《JAY'S POV》

Levi looked at Jay, who was driving Felix's car. Jay had explained to him that Felix drove them there, before Levi had even asked him about it. Now they were sitting next to each other in silence, while Jay was wondering why he even offered Levi a ride in the first place.

He had kept his eyes on the road until now, except for a few times where he'd look aside, to have his eyes meet Levi's every time.
He was frantically thinking of something to say, but he didn't feel there was anything suited he could talk about right now.

He put his hand on the chair beside him, only to remember that obviously Levi was sitting there, when he felt their hands touch.
He looked down, and realized he had put his hand over Levi's.

He looked up at Levi with a shocked expression on his face. "I- I'm sorry."
He took his hand off Levi's hand, but suddenly Levi grabbed his hand, and intertwined their fingers.

"Levi? What are you-"
"Just... let me hold your hand until we get home, please?"
Jay knew there was no way he could say no to Levi, not even if he had wanted to. "Alright then."

They both went silent again, but this time Jay didn't find it to be as uncomfortable as before.
He enjoyed the feeling of Levi's small hand holding his, and he tried to not think of how this was for sure the last time he would ever get to do that.

"Levi..." He finally ended the long lasting silence.
"Hm?" Levi asked, while using his free hand to draw little circles on the back of Jay's hand.
Jay took a deep breath, already knowing Levi was not going to be happy about what he was about to say.

"I've been thinking... I told you that I don't want to be just friends. I think it's better if we stop seeing each other. So at school, we shouldn't meet up anymore. Both of our friend groups know what's going on, so they'll understand. And in church, I'm sure Matt won't mind acting as your pillow instead from now on."

"But why-" Levi didn't even finish his sentence, being clearly upset as Jay had predicted.
"You know why, Levi. I can't stand being around you when I can't be with you. Also, I don't even deserve to be around you, after what I did I don't deserve-"

"Pull over the car." Levi suddenly demanded. When Jay didn't immediately fulfill his request, he added: "Now."
Jay hesitated for a second, but then did what Levi had asked of him.

Levi let go of his hand, and started to take off his seat belt.
"Levi, it's too far to walk from here. At least let me give you some money to-"
Levi leaned over to Jay to kiss him, without even taking a moment to think about it.

Jay didn't know how to react, except for carefully kissing him back.
Finally Levi let go of him and sat back down on his chair, shyly biting his lower lip, which made him look cuter than ever.

"Why... why did you just do that?" Jay asked, while questioning if he really wasn't imagining all of this.
"Now you don't have to feel bad about kissing me anymore, since I did it to you too."

Jay slowly shook his head. "Levi, that doesn't change that I still can't be around you like this."
Levi looked away. "You know... Alex, Matt, even my mom have been telling me to date you."

Okay, he was totally imagining this. "Your... mom?"
"Yes, it's complicated. But even though everyone has been telling me to do so, they couldn't convince me."

He grinned. "You know, I just started thinking to myself when you were driving. No matter if I date you or not, I'm still going to like you. My dad will not accept me liking you, because he won't accept me being attracted to guys."