Leviticus

Chapter 27

《LEVI'S POV》

"Levi, just tell me what happened... please?" Alex was begging his best friend to tell him what was going on, probably very worried by Levi's strange behaviour.
"We..."

Levi couldn't finish his sentence, being held back by the fear of being judged, even though he knew he shouldn't feel that way. He knew that Alex wouldn't just reject him as his friend for having kissed Jay... but still he was scared.

"Levi? You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Levi wasn't able to look him in his eyes. Would he be disgusted? He didn't seem to mind that Levi liked Jay, but he had been quite shocked when Levi told him.

"We..." Again Levi didn't finish his sentence, this time not because he wanted to, but because he simple couldn't continue. The fear kept him from opening his mouth, and took his breath away, seemingly to try and prevent him from telling his best friend.

"Levi... Did he hurt you?" Alex' voice got a bit louder and deeper, making him sound like an angry mother bear trying to protect her cub from getting hurt.
"No... he didn't." Levi bit his lip, knowing that once he told him, he wouldn't be able to go back.

A tear rolled down his cheek, followed by more until he started sobbing. He hid his face in his hands, and sat down on the ground, leaning with his back against the locker.
Alex, who realised something was terribly wrong, sat down next to him.

He put his arm around Levi, who put his head on his shoulder, crying in the comfort of his friend's arms.
Alex didn't ask any questions. That's why Levi liked him so much. He noticed when Levi wasn't feeling well, but knew not to force him to talk when Levi wasn't feeling comfortable.

After he had calmed down a bit, Levi took a deep breath, and looked up at Alex' face. "Alex, I can trust you, right?"
"I think you're the one that should decide if you want to tell me or not. I'm not gonna answer you just so you tell me. You feeling okay is more important than me knowing everything."

"We kissed."
"Ah..." Alex didn't say anything, patiently waiting until Levi would continue.
"I- He kissed me first. But then I kissed him back. Then he suddenly pushed me away, and that's when I realised what had happened."

The teary-eyed Levi looked up at his friend. "So I freaked out."
Alex nodded. "I see."
"I hate myself. I really do. Why did I have to fall in love with this guy, if I didn't like him I could at least tell him I'm not into him, and we could perhaps even continue being friends. But I know with the way I'm feeling about him, I could never do that now."

Alex pulled him closer. "Levi, it's not your fault you like him, and neither is it his fault he likes you. I know that pushing him away seems like the best thing for now, but it won't change your feelings. And even if you end up not liking each other after a while, there will be other boys. You can avoid Jay, but you can't avoid who you are."

Levi nodded. "I know. And that makes it even worse. I really don't know what to do next. I don't want to talk to him, but also I feel like I want to be with him, to have him hold me tightly and never let go."

Alex took his hand. "It's fine, Levi. Even though I don't know what it feels like, I understand you. Just know that you're my best friend, and I'll support you no matter what."
Levi smiled. "I'll always support-"

The bell rang, cutting him off. After the loud noise had finally stopped, and they had gotten up already, Levi looked at Alex. "you too."
Alex grinned, after which he put his arm around Levi's shoulder, to guide him to their class.

When Levi sat down, he saw Matt staring at him.
"Levi... are you okay?"
Levi smiled. "Of course, why do you think something would be wrong?"
"Well, I can clearly see you cried. So something must be wrong, I guess."