Chapter 32

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《JAY'S POV》

Jay watched how Nick and Riven sat down in front of him, as Felix sat next to him. They all had a concerned look on their faces, which was understandable since Jay was usually just joking around and wasn't too serious about anything.

After Riven had explained that he was with Felix and Nick, Jay had told him they could come too. They were now in some random park, sitting at a picnic table, with his friends waiting for him to start telling them what was going on.

"I asked you to come here because... I did something stupid, and I don't really know what to do now." He took a deep breath, and for a short while got a bit distracted by the sound of some children that were playing basketball.

He decided to just get it over with, so before he even realised it, he had blurted out the words: "So I kissed Levi..."
He saw how Riven's eyes widened, as he was taken by surprise, and instantly Jay got reminded of how Levi would always do the same.

He tried to push those images away in his brain. He wronged Levi so badly, he had no right to even think of him.
"Sh*t Jay... What did he do?" Felix's voices sounded concerned, which for some reason felt comforting, and Jay once again realised how happy he was to have met these boys.

"I guess he like... kissed me back? But after that he got mad at me and like... I don't really know what to do now."
Nick frowned, looking a bit confused. "If he kissed you back he must like you right? Just tell him you want to be with him, perhaps he's mad because he misunderstood, like he didn't realise that you actually cared about-"

"He didn't misunderstand. That's the problem."
Riven tilted his head a bit. "Then you think he doesn't want to be with you?"
"I don't know. It doesn't even matter. His dad is a church leader."

Nick slowly shook his head. "Do you really think he's gonna be that concerned with you guys dating? Who knows, perhaps he won't care that much."

Jay grinned. "I had dinner at Levi's place once. His brother's girlfriend asked if we were boyfriends. Let's just say the way his dad reacted is enough to make it very clear to me that he will never change his mind about this."

"Does anybody else know this happened?" Riven asked.
"Probably not. Well, I told Matt."
After seeing his friends' shocked faces he clarified: "I didn't want to, but he kind of figured it out on his own."

"Can't you just date without his family knowing? They know you are friends anyway." Felix sounded convincing, but Jay knew that was impossible.
"Honestly, I'm too scared they would somehow notice. Also, I don't think Levi would be okay with lying to them, he's pretty close with his family."

"Can't you just talk to him about it?"
Jay turned his head to look at Nick. "How? I don't have his phone number, and he avoids me. He didn't even sleep on my shoulder last Sunday."

He noticed that his friends suddenly went silent and stared at him with a strange expression on their faces.
"Ohh," he said as the realization hit him. "It's a thing... we do. It's complicated."

He suddenly had a backflash to when he and Levi first met. He remembered how shocked he was when this random guy shamelessly used his shoulder as a pillow, and Levi's face when he woke up and realized what was going on. He grinned softly. That was the moment he started liking Levi.

"Oh my gosh, Jay. You look so strange being in love." Felix' voice woke Jay up from his daydream.
"Oh?" He asked, without having a very memory of what his friend just said.
"Yeah," Riven mumbled. "It's kinda scary to witness you being like this."

Nick raised one eyebrow. "Scary? More like gross."
Felix turned to look at him. "I guess you now understand what I have to look at every day."
"What do you mean?" Jay could tell by Nick's voice that he was getting a bit defensive.

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