Little Love Letters

Chapter fourteen.

I stare at my reflection.

Not in vanity. I don't believe in vanity, at all. I believe that people should be selfless, and they should be confident, vast and strong.

But their feet should never leave the ground.

I wanted to feel powerful again, so therefore I didn't call the hairdresser. I wanted to make the change on my own and to feel proud about it.

The scissors are cold and heavy in my hands. I tie my hair into a loose ponytail, and cut just below the elastic band behind my head.

My hair falls in strings onto the floor, along with the elastic band that I removed.

When my now short hair frames my face, I smile. It's just touching my collarbones. I trim the longer pieces so that the length goes in one straight line.

It's definitely a new me.

"You cut your hair," Luke stands behind me by my doorframe, back in my apartment. In New York.

"You don't like it?" I stand up and sweep the now dead hair to the dustbin.

He smiles slightly, "No, I like it. Love actually. It works perfectly with your bright green eyes."

I stand still and look at him, taking in all his features. He is actually good looking, and I never noticed it before. The only person I had eyes for was Zac. It was always only about Zachary. "Thank you, Luke."

Luke fetched me at the airport, and he struggled to say hello after he saw my attire. I kinda attracted attention from many people, including paparazzi. A few men with camera's followed me and I had no idea why.I'm not British, or a model.

He still has to talk to me. Luke hasn't mentioned what he wanted to say to me when I came back, and I really don't want to push him.

"Have you spoken to your mom yet? About Tobias?"

I freeze on the spot. "No. I-I don't know how to address it." He walks closer to me and engulfs me in a hug. I then feel something hard in his hands, and I take it from him behind my back.

"What's this?" I ask, while staring at it.

He doesn't say a word for a whole. "I needed to show you." I unfold the rolled up magazine in my hands, and feel a lump in my throat from the cover.

"Is Zac that important to make the front page?" I ask. Luke shakes his head, "No, Allison Grant and Elle Parker is."

I read the title which stands out in bright red. 'A love triangle!'

"What?!" I open the magazine with shaky hands and read further.

'Zachary's high school sweetheart is being replaced by Allison Grant. The Vic's Secret model is definitely his choice so far. As we can see, Elle Parker was leaving Paris in a very formal dress, probably from a date with Zac. A source tells us that she left in a haste, with tears on her cheeks.' I gulp at the picture that they used of me. It was when the paparazzi followed me at the airport. I start crying, therefore Luke puts his arm around my shoulders and comforts me slightly.

'We don't know about you, but we think Zachary should stick with Allison. Elle is nothing compared to her.' I can't help it, I collapse onto my knees and sob. So far my strong woman thing isn't working out.

I know this is cheesy, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's part of the process.

Maybe the writer is right. Allison is far more prettier. She has full eyebrows and long dark brown hair. They put a picture on the page of her on the runway, in nothing but lingerie.

The bottom right picture hurts the most. It was at an evening event with Zac where Allison kisses him in a blood red dress.

Luke takes the magazine from me, "I think you've seen enough."

"You think?" I cry.

"Elle, you are beautiful and stunning just the way you are. I don't know why you keep going into Zac's claws. He has always done this to you. I know I haven't known you for that long, but I'm not an idiot." He says while bending down and wiping a tear.

He looks straight into my eyes, "You are amazing, and you deserve somebody who wouldn't hurt you. Who wouldn't lie, cheat and leave."

I laugh sarcastically,"Like who?"

He flinches and stiffens," Like.. me."

I stop laughing and almost choke. I can't speak. I can't even blink away the tears anymore.

"That's what I wanted to say to you, before it was too late. I just didn't know how to." Luke stands up straight and combs through my short hair.

He speaks silently,"Please say something. Anything. Just don't push me away,"

"Luke.." My voice cracks, "For..for how long has this been going on?"

He puts my fringe behind my ear, "Since I met you."

I'm still sitting on the floor, too stunned to speak. "I was so captivated by your beauty that I didn't know how to introduce myself. That was why I stuttered so much," I laugh quietly, because I can never forget that moment. "Your eyes welcomed me, and I could see that you have been broken before. I could see that you were fragile, but that intrigued me even more."

I take his hand from my face and put my palm against his. "Luke, you do know that it isn't the best timing for you to tell me this," His eyes find mine, and they look so vulnerable, "But I won't lie and say that I'm not attracted to you."

He smiles, and it takes a bit of my sadness away. "Remember that night at the club when you passed out and went to hospital?"

I nod and he continues," I've never forgiven myself for doing that to you. For letting that happen and leaving you alone. But anyways, that night you took my breath away. That was the moment when I realized how I felt about you."

I stand up and give him a kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, Luke. But please know that I need time. I don't want you to be a rebound, and I don't want to lose our relationship."

I wipe my cheeks and walk out of my bedroom, feeling genuinely happy.

But I know it won't last long. Happiness isn't a person, it's a choice. And I know that I'll have to face my fears soon.

But I first want to enjoy the piece of sunshine that I've got.