Little Love Letters

22.

To me, some words never make sense, or maybe I just can't believe them. Like for example, when I was a little girl I fell off of our staircase and broke my arm.

Everybody told me while I was put in a hospital gown that it would be okay. I couldn't believe those words. Not when I felt the most pain that I've ever felt in my entire life. Well at that stage, obviously. Now a heartache hurts more.

But the three small words, "he is alive" rang like a bell through my head. It was some sick joke, wasn't it?

My mom saw the heart monitor go into a straight line the day Zac was declared dead, making that horrible piercing sound. How is this possible?

Zac's sister literally dragged me out of the coffee shop and into her car. I was completely dazed. Every thing in my sight was blurry. I couldn't function properly and I didn't even blink.

Before I know it, the elevator of the hospital goes up. My heart is blocking my ears. But the ding sound that states that the elevator doors will open, sends a adrenaline spark through my spine.

I'm running down the hallway, slipping at the corners. I need to see for myself. I need to see if those baby blues will still look at me with love and affection.

I finally arrive at the door of the room I knew he was in before. I remember the markings of scratched wood when I slid down the wall after they told me he died. I remember kicking those waiting stools.

With a breath of courage, I open the door. It squeaks a little, making my entrance very noticeable. "Nurse, for the last time, please get my girlfriend to come here. I need..."

I stood there, looking at a lean body facing the other way. A bandage was tied around his head, and a cast surrounded his arm.

It was like I wasn't there. I was just looking at the silhouette of a normal person, and in front of them the sunset shone through the blinds.

The light landed on him perfectly.

"I need to see her. She probably went through hell for your mistake." He was packing a duffle bag, too occupied to see me behind him. "It's the least you could do."

I stayed silent. My hands clasped to my sides. Taking all of him in. His body. His raspy words. Making sure that I'm not seeing things. That he isn't an angel.

"Nurse, are you ther..."

Zac turns around, and my breathing clenches in my chest. At first his eyes showed a little emotion, but then I could feel the vibe of longing and passion. Gratefulness and love. It passed between us like an electric field.

We stood there for a few seconds. Not believing the sight.

Finally, Zac makes a move. Not being able to resist being apart anymore. Not even a few centimeters apart.

He grabs my face and kisses me. Sweet and tender. Like there is no tomorrow. Which was very close in his case.
It feels like I could go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

If he wasn't holding me, I would have blown away with the wind.

My knees buckle beneath me. Zac catches me in his weak state. I am weaker at that moment though.

This explained better than words could. It said all there was to say.

He stares into my eyes. I memorize every speck of blue. Gold shines through, and behind him.

"I thought I'd never see your face again." I smiled while looking up at Zac. "I thought I wouldn't be able to kiss those lips. To feel your arms around me."

Zachary leaned down and kissed the tears running rapidly down my cheeks. They were purely tears of joy.

"I'm so glad you aren't the nurse. It killed me, no pun intended.." He chuckled lightly, "..to not have you here. I was about to drive to you again but they took my bike."

"I'm here now." I touch his face, still in between his arms, just to make sure that I'm not dreaming.

"How are you alive? My mom.. she saw everything.. and it doesn't add up. I don't know what to think.." Zac puts a finger onto my lips. "Shh." His actions kept me quiet. "They mixed up my name with another patient's. We were on our deathbeds at the same time. The other man didn't survive, but they thought it was me. When that man's family came to visit they didn't recognize my face."

I gulp. Poor family. I'm glad and relieved that Zac is alive, but all that pain. All that pain I experienced is a reality for them. "I- I just don't want to lose you again. Please. It was awful."

He smiles, which makes the dimples I missed so much pop out. "I love you, Elle. So much." He kisses my forehead and embraces me.

"I love you more. More than anything." I feel his heartbeat and place my hand on his chest as well as my ear. I'm so glad that it's beating.

He looks down at my fingers. "So, that ring looks familiar." I gaze up at him and genuinely smile. "I wonder why."
His voice vibrates through me.

"My fiancé gave it to me." I smile while staring at it in awe.

"So you like it more than mine?"

"Oh yeah," I chuckle. "This one suites me better. And I love him more than any grain of matter on this earth."

Zac shows all his teeth while smirking. "I guess he makes you happy then?"

"More than chocolate makes a fat kid happy."