I spent the rest of the night crying. I pretended like I was ok when really I felt worthless and awful about myself. I cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up everyone was getting ready for our show today. I knew if I went I was going to get so much hate and I would probably end up crying again. "I dont wanna go" I said to Anthony "ness, I know, but so many people wanna meet you and will be sad if your not there" he said. "Your right I guess" I got up and got changed and did my makeup
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I wore this and used quite a lot of makeup to cover up my read puffy eyes. When I finished i looked in the mirror and told my self I was ok.
I walked out and we jumped in some Uber's and went to the venue. We had our show after the meetups this time which was weird. "Hi babies" I said to a few girls that came up to me. I gave them hugs and they left. A few people walked right past me to avani giving me a glare. That broke my heart that some people hated me because of something that was untrue.
It was time for the show and I was ready to leave because I had so many stares and people walk past me today because of what josh said.
"What's up guys" chase said while everyone cheered. "What's your favourite thing about tour" someone asked. We all answered individually. "My favourite is traveling with my closet friends" I said putting on a fake smile. "And my least favourite thing would have to be, being away from my family, and my other friends that I miss alot" I said. Next it was avanis turn and I just watched her talk about her fav and least fav things. "Next question" I said and asked someone in the crowd. "Why did you cheat on josh" someone asked staring at me angrily. I took a deep breath and before I could say anything Anthony butted in. "She didnt cheat on josh!" He said sternly. The whole crowd went silent. "Then why did he say that in his live" someone called out. "I honestly dont know what he was talking about. I would never cheat on him nor would I cheat on anyone as a matter of fact." I said and everyone just looked at me. I could tell who did and who didnt believe me by there faces.
It was the end of the show and I just wanted to go home. Avani went home with me while everyone else went to dinner. "Thanks for coming with me" I said as we walked into our room. "All good" she said. We played music as we packed our bags to leave tonight for the next show.
We were on the bus and I was sitting next to Anthony. We were talking the whole time so I didnt sleep that much. I made some tiktoks and posted on insta while he was telling me about a few of his fans.
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@nessabarrett: can hearts be broken forever? </3
@avani: I love you always @nessabarrett: I love you forever <3 @jadenhossler: talk to me @nessabarrett: yup @joshrichards: ... @luvanthony: I'm here ness <3 @nessabarrett: thankyou ant <3
Josh commented on my post "..." which annoys me. If hes gonna comment at least write words. Ugh. He hadnt broken up with me yet which I dont know if it was good or bad. Maybe he still wanted to date or maybe he just didnt wanna talk to me and thought that it was already over.
"I'm gonna go sit with vani" ant said asking for permission. "Okay" I said and he left. I had my head on the window just think about everything. Everything bad. Everything good.
"Hey ness" I heard someone say. I stopped thinking to see who it was. "Hey jae" I said smiling at him. "How are ya holding up" he said genuinely worried about me. "I'm fine I guess" I said looking down at my phone. "You dont have to pretend" he said which made me laugh. "Your right" I said. "Remember if you need to talk then text me" he said. "I will" I said and fell asleep on the window purposely not on jadens shoulder in case someone posted it and everything turned to shit. Again.
