i will always come back to you

funeral

i got off the plane and texted jaden saying that i made it.

i caught an uber back to my house and saw my dad sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand.

"hey" i said walking over to him

"oh hey" he smiled slightly

"how you holdin up?" i asked

he just stared at me

"that's a stupid question. obviously not very well" he rolled his eyes

"sorry i was just checking in on you" i said walking away from him and going up the stairs to my room.

i sat on my bed and jaden facetimed me

"hey jade" i smiled

"hey how ya doing?"

"eh im okay. i have my speech for tomorrow ready. i wrote it on the plane" i told him

"okay hit me" he said and i read him my speech

"that's good" he told me when i finished

"thankyou. i just hope i can keep it together for tomorrow" i said

"you will be okay" he promised

"hows josh?"

"he wont talk to me or q, hes just being a dick"

"great. i havent got a text from him" i said smiling even though i didnt feel like it

we talked for a bit longer and then i fell asleep.

and when i woke up i started getting ready for the funeral

when i was ready i met with my dad downstairs and he was ready too

"can you drive" he asked me

"yeah" i shrugged and we got in his car and drove to the venue

when i got there i saw so many people, lots of my family and my mums friends of course

i talked to a bunch of them before it started.

we all sat down and i made sure not to sit next to my dad. he just irritates me.

we went through a few things before it was my turn to speak and i was already in tears hearing about my mum and everything everyone had to say about her.

"now i would like to invite nessa, to talk about her mum"

i got up and wiped my eyes.

"hi. im up here today saying my goodbye to my mum. and my bestfriend"

"i know i will miss her so so much cause i already do but i also know that she did have an amazing life and an amazing daughter" i smiled and i heard a few laughs from the audience

"but she truly was the best mother. i dont know how im gonna get on without her but i am so incredibly grateful to have had her as long as i did. and i know it wasnt long but meeting someone as amazing as her is  not very likely" i took a deep breath

"when i got that call-" i said bursting out into tears.

"i just want to say. i love you mum always and forever" i said and sat down in my chair and cried as quietly as i could.

i had a lot more to say but i couldnt say it without my tears taking over.

one of my mums friend had her arm around me comforting me although it didnt help.

the funeral was soon over and i just went home in an uber cause my dad was being a dick again.

he laughed at me crying about mum.

when i got home i packed my bags and put them at the door.

i left in 10 minutes

"dad?" i said

"yeah" he replied drunk

"im gonna go back to la" i said

"are you kidding?"

"no" i replied

"nessa you just got here. what about me and what about your mum?"

"there is nothing left for me here. i still care about mum" i said

"no you dont. you never cared about her you never visited and you never-"

"shutup!! i do i do fucking care about her she was the best thing in my life so dont you dare say that" i yelled at him

"dont talk to me like that" he said anger in his eyes

"im going. i fucking leaving you and this house and everything!!" i yelled without thinking

all of a sudden my face grew with pain and i felt my dads hand smack me across the face

"ouuchh" i groaned putting my hand against my cheek

i looked at him with tears in my eyes and ran outside and caught the uber to the airport.

i cant believe he just did that.

i decided to call jaden because hes the one i always talk to about this stuff

"hey ness" he said

"hi" i said crying

"what's wrong?"

"my dad-" i said

"what did he do" he said angrily

"he hit me" i said

jaden didnt reply

"j?"

"yeah sorry im here"

"and im coming back now" i said

"okay good. im so sorry ness"

"it's okay im okay i just really wanna come home" i said

"yeah okay i will pick you up"

"thankyou" i replied and he stayed on the phone with me until i boarded the plane

skip plane ride

when i got off the plane i saw jaden almost immediately

i ran into his arms and he held me for a while

he knew i needed a hug

"thankyou" i said into him

he just nodded

"cmon let's get your bags and go home"

"okay" i nodded and we got my bags and went back to my place where i saw cynthia and quinton

"hii!" cyn hugged me

"hey" quinton said hugging me right after

quinton looked at my cheek

"who the fuck gave you that?"

"dont-"

"what the fuck?" cynthia said

"my dad" i said annoyed

"aw bub im sorry" cyn said and hugged me again

i shrugged

"im just gonna go the sleep forget this day even happened"

all three of them nodded

i walked into my room and cynthia followed me

"i missed you" she smiled

"missed you too" i said getting into bed

"i love you and i hope you know im always here" she said looking into my eyes

"yeah i know cyn" i said

"then why did you go to jaden first?"

"please cynthia not right now"

"im sorry" she said quickly

"night" she kissed me on the cheek and left acting like she wasnt angry i talked to jaden before her

if i wake up and she is angry.
i will be pissed.
this is not the time.