After The Road Trip

8

I have been sat in the rain for god knows how long. I'm now really cold and really wet. My face is so drenched you can't tell I've been crying most of the time. I've messed my whole life up because I wanted to trial something out. I've been thinking about my poor life choices and just watching the rain hammering down against the ground. Shivering so much I can't move. I then heard a door open.

"Regina what the hell are you doing" Emma said rushing to my side and rapping her warm arms around me. I just stayed staring in front and shivering. That's when I felt my body being lifted off the ground in a bridal style and carried into the bar. "Mia would you mind coming back tomorrow"

"Of course. I hope she's ok" a girl softly said sounding like she was a little worried for me.

I can't see her because my head is buried into Emma's warm body. I'm still shivering from all these wet clothes. I'm also still crying from everything that's happened in my life. I could feel her carrying me somewhere before lying my down. I opened my eyes to see we're in her VIP section. She pulled my jeans off my legs before taking my top off. Then wrapping me in a blanket that I instantly held tight. She straddled her legs behind me and wrapped her arms around my body.

"Now talk to me. Why were you just sat there in the rain" Emma asked as she swayed us side to side to calm me down.

"I really fucked up. My kids just argue so much now and I can't control them. They hate the idea of me and you. I just know they do. I feel like an awful mum. I can't even control my kids. I'm so scared that this will all blow up in my face" I sobbed knowing it's easier having her behind me instead of in front.

"You're not a bad mum. You were willing to break up with me because they didn't like it. This is all just hard right now. Why did you sit outside in the rain? You should have come up and kept warm" Emma asked sounding confused as she pulled my body closer to hers.

"I saw you with that girl and I got scared" I shamefully admitted knowing I hate being jealous.

"So you sat in the rain instead? I would have pegged you for being someone who comes in and punches her if you thought I was cheating" Emma chuckled as she placed her head on my shoulder and smile in amusement.

"Usually I would but I was exhausted from today. Your not are you" I softly asked knowing I need the reassurance after the day I've had.

"Of course not. She was the friend that gave me the bar. She just came to check on everything" Emma replied with a laugh as she gently squeezed me a little and kissed my neck.

I looked over my shoulder at her smiling. How is she so ok with everything? She pushed my wet hair out of my face and tied it back for me. Allowing me to see better. As I look at her I think. Can I really risk everything for her? Is that wise?

"What if this fails? Emma my kids hate me. I had to call Ethan because I couldn't stand it. I had to call him and tell him to talk to them. They were swearing and fight with me as well as each other. This is so scary for me. What if we fail" I asked looking at her with so much fear at this all.

"If you keep asking that question then we will. Just let fate take over" Emma replied with a shrug likes it's no big deal.

"Don't say that. Don't act like that. This is huge!" I huffed as I stood up and looked at her annoyed now.

"Calm down. Regina your freaking out and just need to calm down. This is all still very new to everyone. Think of it in their prospective. Their parents got divorced which is huge. Now their mum is gay and dating a woman in the same day they found out about the divorce. It's a lot for them. For all of you. Just give it time" Emma softly said as she put her arms over the blanket around me.

"I don't want to loose anyone. I want to be a bad mum. Or a bad girlfriend. I'm so sorry" I said as I dropped to the floor in tears. I haven't spoken to anyone about how I've been feeling since me and Emma stopped being a secret. Keeping it in was never good for my health. Emma bent down next to me looking worried. "I'm sorry. I get like this. I suffer from really bad anxiety and for years I had depression" I admit to the first person other than Ethan.

When my parents died I was on so much medication for my depression and anxiety. As I got older the depression got better and better until it was gone. My anxiety never went away. Ethan was the only person who knew. I've always been scared to tell someone. Ironic right. I looked at the ground scared how she will react. She put her arms around me and held me close. Causing me to cry more.

"There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you any different to everyone else out there. Don't be ashamed of having a mental illness. It's not what identifies you and it will never be. We'll be together to fight it and one day you will over come this. I promise and I never break a promise" Emma softly said in a soothing voice as she kept me close to her body.

"Thank you" I breathed out as I tried to get my breathing back to a normal pace.

"I think if you want to help the kids with this then open up to them. Tell them what you told me and everything about the anxiety. Trust me Regina. It will make a big change and you'll be a huge role model to them. Instead of being scared about it be open and help people with it. Your already the most inspiring person I know. That's why I believe in you and love you" Emma added in that soothing voice that made me crying even more in her warm embrace.