Left On Read // Book Two

» Chapter 27

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J: Did you hear what Dickie mumbled when he walked past us in the hallway?
T: no I was mostly unconscious
J: "feral gremlin being followed by local sadboy"

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T: tacocat backwards is still tacocat
J: Duh. Everyone knows that
T: and dog food lid backwards is dildo of God
J: I
J: I'm coming to your room right now, and I'm killing you. Don't move

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J: Man, you picked the wrong day to skip first bro
T: IM trying to sleep what do you want
J: Dickie took over the PA system for morning announcements and started it with "Hey boys, hit that like button if you think that falling in love with your rival is,,, kinda hot."

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T: When I first met u, I couldn't stand u
J: Yeah, back at you
T: But then u and I had to spend some time together
J: And?
T: It didn't get any better
J: Good. Same here, asshole

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J: What's that word that's a mix between sad and mad?
T: Discontented, miserable, malcontented, wretched
T: smad

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T: mONKEY CHOOSE CRACK COCAINE MONKEY CHOOSE CRACK COCAINE MO N K E Y CH O O S E C R AC K CO C A IN E !!1!
J: What the fuck. Holy shit go to sleep

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J: Hey Timmy, are you the square root of negative one?
T: W-what?
J: Because you can't be real
T: But im right here?

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T: Compulsory skirts for school girls is not good
J: What if we made them longer, and then split them into two skirts, one around each leg
T: Brilliant

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J: I can't believe you dont want bofa
T: sigh
T: Whats bofa?
J: Bofa my arms wrapped around you in a loving hug

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T: Mentally, I am unwell
T: Physically, I am worse

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J:  I- ok, listen. I don't have a girlfriend for various reasons, one of them being that I love you, and another being
J: Timmy are you listening
T: Yeah
J: What was I about to say?
T: mY NaMe'S JasOn AnD I dOnT hAVe A GiRLfrIenD bEcAuSe I LikE DudEs

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T: Ok but why the fuck do you blackout when all your pokemon faint??
J: Your pokemon can't protect you anymore so the enemy trainer just fucking decks you

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J: Dickie suggested Bruce call his memoir "Yeah So I'm Adpoting You, Too" and Bruce grounded him

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T: helpful grammar tip! Farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance, and father is for emotional distance!

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J: How's your day been baby?
T: dumbass hours: open
T: bones: broke
T: tiddies: out

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T: Roy said "u know what they say speed limits r just suggestions" under his breath as we were walking out the door and I don't understand why no one else will get in a vehicle with him; I've never felt more alive

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R: keep it up and I'll tell the chat about the last time you got hella drunk
J: I'll slit your throat, RoyToy.
R: Good luck.
R: you probably can't even reach my neck.
J: I'm almost taller than you though?
R: Yeah maybe in nine-inch heels and standing on a counter
W: Timmy?? Dickie??
W: Why aren't you stopping this??
D: I'm busy.
T: I'm feeding my goldfish
W: Understandable, but- Dickie, you're watching Keeping up with the Kardashians.
D: Exactly
R: Anyway, the last time Jay and I got drunk he started ranting about Tisbwbbrbdjsbwe
W: do you see what you've done Dick
W: A man is McDead because of your inaction
D: Wally, clearly you haven't been keeping up with the Kardashians. The tea this season is absolutely steaming
W: As good as that ep where Kim is robbed at gunpoint?
D: Why don't you come watch with me and decide for yourself?
W: I suppose I will...

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D: fuck
W: Language!
R: shit
W: Language!!
J: what the dick Wallace
W: Language!!!
T: What the frick frack tic tac snik snak bro?
W:
W: what the fuck

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R: guy who lives above me has apparently decided to learn to play the flute, and I get it. I do. I understand and yet, my guy, bruh, sir, if we meet after quarantine I will throw your god forsaken noise stick off the roof

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