Never Should Have Let You Go

Our Grandbabies

The three empire parents slept like the dead in Carmen's room. Spain, of course, on the bed. With Arthur and Francis on chairs next to it.

They were all tired..... well actually. Carmen was exhausted.

And rightfully so.

The woman just had four baby girls, one of who was a surprise.

Of course, since the three empires were sleeping, they didn't notice a light and the shape of a group of people form.

Next to the four cradles.

From the group of people who take had formed, a woman gracefully and excitedly stepped out and lovingly looked down at the sleeping babies.

"Isabella has my eyes," Isabelle smiled fondly. She wiped a tear from her eye, "Oh, Ambre (Ambre) took her Mama's nose." She looked down at Diega,"Diega looks just like my baby girl, her mama." Iberia felt so proud, "Maria has Joáo's cheeks when he was born. He was such a chubby bebé and had such stubby fingers and-"

As Iberia droned on, wiping tears, comparing the similarities between her babies and new grandbaby girls, and remembering her how her children looks as babies.. Rome hung around the farthest from his granddaughters and the cribs.

He was nervous. Nervous to be around them. He couldn't really see them from where hr stood but that was okay. It wasn't anything personal.

It was just that.

....

How to say this?

He was ashamed.

Ashamed of his past.. Ashamed at how he treated all his lovers. Ashamed at how he treated his children. Ashamed at having the power get to his head.

He was dirty, dirty and sinful and those little girls over there... they were pure.

He couldn't touch them. Maybe not even look at them. It would stain them.... he... he was digusted with himself and always would be.

He would never forget how Carmen, Francis, and Joáo had walked away from him in his dying moments.

His children......

He had deserved it.

He looked at the bed and saw Carmen sleeping.. He couldn't believe it, his daughter. His only daughter, his baby girl.... could he even call her that? It was a term of endearment and he had been terrible at showing Carmen affection. That went to all his children.

He had been so bad. By the time the Italies rolled around, he had gotten old and thought he learned his mistakes.

So he became better for the two boys. But somehow.... Somehow... he still screwed up and ending up favoring Veneziano out of the two.

Damn it. He just wasn't good at this parenting thing.

Looking at Carmen, Rome felt his heartbreak. He couldn't believe she was having children and was such an empire.... like him. It was like she had grown up without him....

She did.

He couldn't recall many memories with her...

He hadn't been there and when he was, there had been nothing but arguments.

Looking over at the cribs, he felt a warmth in his heart. He really did want to see his new grandbabies.

But just couldn't bring himself too it.