Never Should Have Let You Go

Force Field

Diega didn't know how to feel.

She was literally in a closed space with three relatives. 

Oh wait, she did know how to feel.

Uncomfortable.

Madeleine, she realized, on the other hand seemed fine and she wasn't sensing any distress from her sister.

While she was glad that her baby sister was fine even with this whole arrangement. The girl really just wanted to go, she just wanted to get on a plane and head to Portugal.   

And just forget.

But things just kept coming up.

She didn't want to know them, didn't want to know these people. They had left her and her sisters and that was that. She had questions of course but could save them. 

Diega closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat. In the past, there had been so many times at night where she and Maria, but her alone at times, just broke down crying. It usually happened when they bottled up their emotions and they finally came out during a hard time.

1812.

The Great Depression. 

The two girls would sob at night so their baby sisters, and states/provinces, territories, and cities, wouldn't see them.  They were the oldest, she was the oldest. 

She had to the be strong one.

She was the strong one.

But still, Diega felt a pang in her heart as she remembered the nights during 1812 when Madeleine was barely breathing and almost completely immobile and Amelia had been going in and out of consciousness.

And they had some American states, and cities around too. Those little ones relied on their four big sisters for everything, the girls themselves were only ten. 

But they had to be strong.

She remembered Madeleine whimpering and Amelia refusing to cry, even if she had watery eyes. She remembered their younger American siblings being so scared.

Her and Maria held strong though. The Native Spirits helped and so did their native people since they lived around them.

But it was still so much.

One night after calming down their Canadian baby sister, after the girl had a nightmare and getting Maryland and D.C. to eat.

Maria broke down.

Yeah, they had help. But it was still so so much.

Diega had followed soon after. She couldn't remain strong enough.

Strong people didn't cry, they weren't suppose to. 

They weren't allowed to.

She had held Maria and silently cried as her sister sobbed. And Diega couldn't help but wonder.

Did their parents want this? Did the fucking family want this?  Were they in Europe laughing their asses off at what was happening in North America?

To their unwanted children?

But still the girl couldn't help but feel the need to be held, to feel like someone wanted to protect her and her sisters, to feel comforted. 

'It's not fair.' Maria had cried, 'Why does everything have to happen to us? Why didn't they want us?'

'I don't know," She had sadly responded. 'I guess we were just mistakes.'

A Native Spirit had found them soon after and comforted the girls. But Diega still felt like it wasn't enough.