DC Girls X Male Reader

Issue #59: Wrath of Bane Part 8: Wild Card... and a Plant Card, Too, I Guess

"Okay so... as soon as I left you died, some weird back to the future crap happened and now you're a narc and so is Frosty despite the fact that she almost murderlized you, and now you're in Bat's group of misfit toys and for some reason you flipped Bane off and now he's got a vendetta on you where he's willing to pay any bum in Gotham a bajillion bucks to jack you up and give you to him to mush up into salsa for revenge... however the most important part of all of this is that you're SCREWIN' BATGIRL NOW!?" Harley said. She was mostly calm before shouting the last part and slamming her fist on the table.

"Woah, relax! We're not screwing or even dating! She just... likes me and part of me thinks I like her too." I said.

"Like Batgirl!? Who are you and what've you done to (Y,N)!? Aren't you guys like enemies or somethin'!? Also I thought you were into bad girls like..."

"...Yo-?"
"...Yo-?"

"Like ME!" Harley said interrupting me and Ivy.

"Alright, Harley, sweetie? I think the more important thing is figuring out how we help (Y,N) Survive this whole Bane debacle. We can worry about his relationship later, after he's had enough time to fully process almost being murdered by his first girlfriend." Ivy said before looking at me. "Although in this line of work, you're going to have to get used to that. Especially if you're some big hero now." She rolled her eyes saying the last sentence.

"Fine, I'll try my best to be professional but we all know my best isn't going to be enough to stop me from being unprofessional." Harley said.

"Alright, so where do we go from here?" I asked.

"That's the million dollar question." Ivy said. "Bane won't buy a sudden change of heart from someone like me and he doesn't trust Harley, so we can't Sabotage him from the inside."

"We could just hide him in my room until this whole thing blows over."

"Harls, I swear to god if you don't stop bringing this back to your huge crush on (Y,N) I'm going to strangle you. He's not ready for a relationship right now! LET IT GO!"

"...Anyways, maybe it's not as hard as it seems. Ivy, maybe you can find some of Bane's cronies like Bird and seduce him into giving you information."

"Sorry, sweetie, but don't think I'm going to whore myself out for you. Especially when the repercussions could mean death for both of us."

"It's just one guy! Get him alone, maybe 'plan' a meeting with Bane through him and then figure out what Bane exactly plans for me and then have him go out in a blaze of glory shooting Bane and his henchmen."

"Still not really feeling it." Ivy said.

"Wait, maybe we can get some other inside chumps in on this! Riddler still owes us a favor for bustin' him outta Arkham don't he!?"

"That favor was getting rid of the explosive devices infused with our skulls." I said.

"To be fair, it's not an awful idea. Scarecrow and I have been in talks about a team up since The Society went up in flames." Ivy said before giving me a weird look.

"...What?"

"That's when we first met, remember?"

"How you almost murdered me? Yeah."

"You started it by hurting my babies!"

"You started it for trying to kill Duela!"

"She started it by also hurting my babies!"

"Reverse Flash started it by trying to murder us!"

"I'm starting to get the urge to beat the both of you over the head with a mallet if you don't shut up!" Harley said before I got a phone call.