The single dad || phan

90

Dan's POV

We were all day around the dining room table now. Lucy on one side, Chris opposite, me and Phil in the gaps between them and Evan upstairs. Chris has his head hung low, watching his hands twiddle with each other under the table. Lucy wouldn't take her blue eyes off of Chris and Phil couldn't make eye contact with me. I knew I had messed up by getting angry and yelling but Phil and I can talk about that later in private. Chris probably doesn't know about his childhood and Lucy doesn't really know either. I don't really know either. I knew the parts he told me but the abuse went on for years, 16 to be precise, and he couldn't possibly tell me all of that. I felt bad for making him think about all of that.

Chris still hadn't said a word.

" lucy, I get it, I really do. This happened to me, all of what happened was to me. I've decided to let him into my life because he's in pain, he's struggling. You know about PJ because I have told you before about some of it and how it effected me but Chris had no-one to help him through that, and he couldn't get PJ out of his mind. He's getting better now. I've moved on, you need to move on too" Phil said to Lucy. She rolled her eyes.

"You aren't my real dad! You can't tell me what to fucking do. You don't have that right Phil." Lucy snapped back. Phil looked home he was about to cry.

" Lucy? What the he'll had gotten into you? Phil raised you, he is your dad as much, sometimes even more so than, I am. You take that back right now! " I shouted, standing up.

"No, I refuse." Lucy said and also stood up, " Chris is more of a dad to me at this point. Chris as altered my life far more that both of you two have. And now you are letting him back into our lives voluntarily when he's hurt me so much. You know after all these years I still have nightmares about finding you lay outside on the cobbles near the shed and the car, pa? I have nightmares with your blood trailing down the cobbles as into the drain. I have nightmares where I can't get your blood off of me. I have nightmares where you dont wake up after you were stabbed. I have nightmares that you died when you had your surgery. I have nightmares where dad ends up killing himself and there is nothing I can do but watch. And in every single one of these nightmares you , Chris, are there watching with me. Sometimes I'm so scared to send Ben to school because I'm so paranoid that he is going to be there. "

"Lucy, I'm so sorry for what I've done in the past" Chris speaks for the first time In a while, "but I promise I will not hurt you or your family anymore, I've not wanted to for a while. I'm not angry anymore... Even if you don't trust me I just want to be forgiven and move on and be happy and I think you want to move on too" Chris said all while moving closer to Lucy and eventually holding her hands. He smiled at her weakly.

"Why should I forgive you?" She asked faintly.

" because you want to live without fear and anger and live your life the happiest you can" he responded softly. 

"Okay" she said back. They both slowly moved into a hug.

I looked over to Phil and he had floods of tears pouring Dan his pale face. I moved around the table and sat next to him, allowing him to rest his head on my shoulder. He laced him frail and old fingers with mine.

"I'm sorry Phil, for before, I didn't mean to make you remember all of that" I said rubbing circles on his hand with my thumb.

"I know" he said back.

"And you know Lucy loves you and thinks  you are the best dad ever, right?" I whispered to him.

" oh I'm not sure about that, I think you are the best dad in the entire universe" he said and kissed my cheek before resting it back on my shoulder.

Chris and Lucy were still hugging, crying into each other softly.

"We are going to be okay, aren't we?" Phil said to me .

"Yes, yes I think we are" I smiled.