The single dad || phan

26

Dan's POV

It was the day of PJ's funeral and I woke up at around 6, Phil was already awake just lying there and looking into space, looking like he wanted to burst out into tears. So I put my arms around him and held him close, while stroking his hair.

And he burst into tears. "I know... it's okay, Phil... it gets better" I whispered while he still cried. "I miss him so much" Phil replied through sobs.
"I know"

"Why was it him... it should have been me... I'm the fucked up one... he was so nice and kind... he was a good person... it should have been me..."

"Phil..."

"It should have... he had a good life... unlike me... he could have met you and something might have happened between you two and you would be happier and less stressed out than you are with me"

"I am happy with you Phil... you make me so happy... the happiest I've ever been... I couldn't even imagine you not in my family anymore"

"You make me happy too and I'm so glad you've let me be part of your family"

"You know even though today it's going to be sad, you are going to feel so much better about this whole situation afterwards"

"I know, but he was my first person to trust, my first family, the person who helped me live for the first time...now he's dead and I can't help him do the same... I feel like I used him..."  Phil had stopped crying but now had a hurt tone to his voice.

"Look Phil, I didn't know either of you, but I don't think you would have used him, you was his friend and from what you've told me before now, he didn't have friends before he met you, I think you helped him just as much as he helped you" Phil smiled at this, " you really think so?"

"Of course I do" I smiled back at him, "you've already done that to me and I've only known you for about a month" I laughed.

I heard Lucy cry from the other room. "Lucy's up" I said. "Either that or a baby has broken in" Phil replied.

"Ha ha funny, you know home invasion is my worst fear!" I laughed slightly but I was deadly serious.

Phil was laughing his head off.

"Okay I'm gonna leave you to laughing at my insecurities while I get our daughter, but get ready, we have to leave soon and that's kinda difficult with a baby and the mountain of things we need to take" I said while I got up out of the bed and walked to the door, walking backwards in order to look at Phil.

"Okay, on it" Phil said, still giggling slightly, while climbing out of bed.

I smiled and left the room. Then I heard Phil shout my name and I walked back in. "Yeah?"

"First of all you look cute and second what are you putting on Lucy?" Phil said while removing his shirt. His cuts had healed in the majority, some still had scabs over them.

"Why thank you" I said being over dramatic with my actions, which made Phil laugh. "And I got Luce a dress the other day, there was a market thing at work... and you look cuter Philly" and I ran out, knowing he would throw a pillow at me for calling him Philly.