Sanders Sides Imagines

Alphabet Boy (Logan)

this song inspired me to write an angsty Logan imagine so here we go

TW: Emotional abuse, bad language, murder, arson

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You're always aiming paper airplanes at me when you're around
You build me up like building blocks just so you can bring me down

It was a constant rollercoaster with Logan. One day he would praise you for what you were doing and make you feel special, and the next he would bombard you with insults until you ran away to cry by yourself or started insulting him back, which only made things worse.

You can crush my Candy Cane but you'll never catch me cry
If you dangle that diploma and I deck you, don't be surprised

You never showed your tears to Logan. You never let him catch you crying. You didn't want to show weakness, and to him feelings were the ultimate weakness. He would always brag about how much smarter he was than everyone, pointing proudly to the diploma he kept on the wall. You wanted so badly to punch that cocky smirk off his face, but you never did.

I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me
I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy
You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry
Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy

Logan seemed to think that he was better than you and smarter than you, which wasn't true. You wrote half of his stupid raps for videos. "Appreciation for poetry" my ass. You didn't know what else to do. He was driving you fucking crazy.

I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground
Little alphabet boy

You started leaving him messages with the alphabet magnets on the fridge. Mostly they were either very large words with complicated meanings, the word "infinitesimal", or "FUCK YOU." It always made him mad and it always left you grinning.

Apples aren't always appropriate apologies
Butterscotch and bubblegum drops are bittersweet to me

His bored apologies after a fight meant nothing to you at this point. They were pointless when he didn't change his behavior after apologizing for it. You were losing your mind from this cycle, and you knew exactly how to break it.

You call me a child while you keep counting all your coins
But you're not my daddy and I'm not your dolly
And your dictionary's destroyed

You burned down the house. Literally. It took some planning to make sure he wouldn't notice until it was too late. You just couldn't stand living there any longer, with that cold, calculating monster inside. So you burned it all down. You started with the library, then the living room, and you made sure the stairs were soaked in the gasoline so it would spread further. You made sure the library window was open and threw the lit match in, watching with a mixture of delight and horror at the sight of your home bursting into flames.

I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me
I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy
You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry
Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy

You waited until you heard the faint screams coming from upstairs before walking away. You knew there was no way to survive, but you needed to make sure. You got into a cab a few blocks away from the fire and rode to the airport. You had bought a one-way ticket to Italy a week beforehand, and drawn up fake divorce papers. Everything was perfect. Logan had always preached about the Greek and Roman classics (which you'd been interested in since you were young, and studied in college, so you knew way more than he did about them). You were planning on visiting Greece and Rome and setting up a home there. You thought it was poetic justice.

I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground
Little alphabet boy

You flourished in Europe. You talked on the phone with the police and played the naive, emotional divorcee. You had your own flat on the coast. You landed a job as a bookshop keeper. You did what you wished, and didn't need anything else. You never gave another thought to Logan.