Disdain, Agony, Hope, and Love #Wattys2020

Chapter 23

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Darcy arrived at the door of the Hunsford Parsonage, his heart beating wildly. In a few moments he would look upon Elizabeth's face and tell her that he loved her. He would ask her for her hand in marriage. In his mind he imagined his aunt's fury, his cousin's surprise and Elizabeth's delight.

Before ringing the bell, he paused to check his appearance in the window. He looked at himself, took a deep breath, then rang the bell.

The door was opened by the maid. In a lowered voice he asked to see Elizabeth. The maid nodded then led him to a room.

"In here sir," said the maid. Darcy took no notice but walked into the room. The door shut behind him.

"Forgive me, I hope you are feeling better," said he automatically.

Elizabeth stood there and stared at him. Darcy did not look at her but went to the mantle then turned to face her.

"I thank you, I am," replied Elizabeth quietly. Darcy wondered if her headache had put her into a bad mood. But that did not matter - he had news that would no doubt lighten her spirits immensely.

Tell her.

The moment he told his tongue to move, it froze. His courage failed him.

He turned to her. She did not smile.

"Would you not sit down?" she continued.

Darcy heard her speak but the words did not register. In the end, she took her own advice and sat down on the chair beside the table.

He stared at the clock, trying to think of how to begin. He walked in an agitated manner around the room. To stop himself from lapping the room, he sat down uncomfortably on the edge of the chair, but no sooner than he had done so, he sprang up again and paced the room again. Pausing, he looked at her, panic rising slowly at her puzzled and impatient expression. Darcy drew breath to speak. Never in his whole life had he willfully admitted his most intimate feelings to anyone, and he was finding it extremely difficult to say what he had kept close to his heart for such a long time. His courage failed him and the moment passed without him saying a word. Nervously he twisted his ring.

The tense silence grew, if that were possible, more tense. Darcy stared at Elizabeth and stood in front of her.

Just say it!

Finally, adrenaline and tension forced him to blurt out,

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

The moment the words were out of his mouth he felt a profound relief flood over him. He had kept his love inside him for so long and when he had finally said it, it felt very good.

After pausing for a moment, feeling very pleased with himself, he looked at the lady to whom he had declared his love to.

The lady herself was staring with an expression of total astonishment upon her fair countenance. She stared, coloured and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and he continued with his proposal.

"In declaring myself thus I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family and friends and I hardly need add, my own better judgement. The relative situation of our families is such that any alliance between us must be regarded as a highly reprehensible situation."

Might as well let her know what she is in for in our marriage.

He paused for breath and did not look at her, concentrating on the words rather than their effect on Elizabeth.