35) Ur Mom

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I'm sorry, I could NOT RESIST making that the title.

//Two months later//

"I'm trusting you not to spill anything, Selina," Bruce stated as he taped a streamer to the wall.

Selina tied the end of the ballon that she had just blown air into. "Yeah, yeah, calm your tits. I want him just as surprised as you do."

Bruce didn't reply until a few minutes of getting the party decorations wall later. "I still don't know what to get him."

Selina snorted. "You're still worrying about that?"

Bruce sighed. "Of course I am. This is his first birthday spent with us. It needs to be special. It needs to be perfect."

Selina glanced at him hesitantly. "Yeah, I agree... Never thought I'd spend my time making a surprise birthday party for a nine-year-old, but here I am," she admitted with a small smirk.

She noticed Bruce's distant gaze as he continued to make preparations. She knew that look, it was the look he wore when he was lost in thought. "Listen, Bruce. Dick... he's a sentimental kid. You know as well as I that getting him something expensive won't mean as much to him as something that comes from...'the heart' as he would say. Ugh, barf, so cheesy."

Bruce cracked a smile and chuckled, finally taking his eyes off the party decorations and looking into Selina's eyes. "That was cheesy enough to sound like Dick."

"Right?" Selina agreed with an amused grin. They stared at each other in silence for a bit before proceeding on their task.

"Don't you have, like, people for this type of stuff?" Selina asked, slightly annoyed.

Bruce turned to her. "People?"

"Yeah," Selina said, "people. I dunno where you rich families and gangs get them from, but just people that you pay to do your work. You've got money. Why the hell are we doing this ourselves?"

"This is going to be a small celebration. I don't want to attract too much attention by calling for 'people' - as you call them- and then having to shoo the paparazzi away before the party even starts. That'd be a big clue to Dick, don't you think?" Bruce explained.

"Ah, the detective. Always thinking ahead, aren't you?" Selina noted.

"Always," Bruce replied.

After another few minutes of silence, Bruce was beginning to believe that Selina would finally let him wallow in his thoughts, but he was mistaken.

"Ugh, damn." Selina muttered under her breath.

"What's the matter?" Bruce questioned, eyes still on what he was doing.

Selina leaned her back onto the table behind her and crossed her arms around her chest. "Dick would want him at his party."

Bruce, for the millionth time that day, turned his attention away from what he was doing to look at Selina. "Who's 'he'?"

Selina widened her eyes in irritation and gestured her hands sharply at him like he automatically should know. "Oswald!"

Bruce dropped what was in his hands onto the table in painful realization and turned his head back to stare the roof. "Ah, crap."

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