heart shaped glasses

dix secondes || ten seconds

The ten seconds before I broke down crying in class, because I got a B+.

1. My full assessment makes its way down to the cold desk. The brutal season of summer was stumbling into autumn. My jaw follows the white, messy pages.

2. My eyes scan the frozen room. I can't comprehend anything.

3. Everything outside me and that fucking curse sitting on my desk goes blank. I can barley feel the tips of my fingers and my legs have gone numb.

4. I bury my face deep into the pit of my hands, tears brewing. I beg the demon inside to listen to me, (and in this second) he listens.

5. My neck slowly decides it wants to remove itself from my body.

6. I remove my ratchet face from my sweaty palms. Moving my fingers, I contemplate with to do.
Suck it up and go with it, or break down like the little whore I am.

7. I open my eyes to see my reflection on the laptop. I'm worn and run down and yet... there isn't salt on my face yet.

8. A close friend I've known since I was 10 was sitting across from me. She notices the tears developing in my eyes. She grabs my mournful body and pull me in comfort. I feels terrible take her comfort because she got a D+. And I was over here crying.

9. I finally find the strength to pull away. But, I can still feel my heart longing for anyone's arms to encase me.

10. I can't do it anymore. I can't sit here and feel sorry for myself while people are still smiling in the corner even if they failed. But fuck them. I'm all about myself. I let my tears fall down my pale cheeks. Not caring who was staring.

never again.
never again.