heart shaped glasses

plus maintenant || no longer

I picked up a random book, I opened up to a random page, glided my hand across that page, stoped at a random sentence, wrote a poem that started with that sentence. This is that poem.

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I can no longer hear you
I've decided this far

I can no longer hear your deep snores while I sleep next to you
While i sob in silence
Hacking at my insides with a machete
Forcing myself to turn to the other side,
and wrap myself within my hands
Your breath still haunting me

I can no longer hear your jazz music playing while you paint
Louis Armstrong will no longer linger around my ears every single time I pick up a brush
I will no longer cancel a blind date because he wanted to go to a jazz bar
And I will walk through museums with ease

I can longer hear your hot breath next to my ear when another man is on top of me
Your hands shall no longer ghost my throat
My chest will not heave in pleasure at the thought of you

I can no longer hear you
I've decided this far

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"I can no longer hear you"
Leonard Cohen- the book of longing