heart shaped glasses

partie un || part one

Many say that your first love teaches you how to love. I am a strong believer in that rule.
This is the three part story of my tragic first love. And how I was destined for a life of catastrophe.

My first love, the ghost. The only person truly in my heart that I know I've ever loved. You are my first obsession. Even your existence is such a big mind-breaker, or at least it was.

I can precisely recall the second last day of year four. I hadn't seen you for a week and I thought you went on holidays early. But when I saw you, with the morning summer sun, you were wearing black shorts and an avengers shirt. Last time I checked, 'cool' boys don't like marvel. That would be the last day I saw him, apparently.
I've always wondered why he never said goodbye.
Or even why he left to go somewhere two minutes away.
After a year of his agonising absence I found out you moved to a different state. Did the boy keep in touch with anyone?

Sometimes when I'm bored (the mind does crazy things when it's bored) I reminisce on his eyes, as blue as the sea. His sandy brown hair that I long to run my hands through. For so long I was hungry to see his beautiful smile once more. Because when I do, I forget where I am for a second.

As much as it pains me to say it, I haven't fully gotten over him. For the last four years, this boy that I barely know has been my safe haven.
Maybe I should grow up?
I've been cemented to the idea of him because I never got clarity.
When he left, he left our book open.