heart shaped glasses

Oh mon Dieu || oh my gosh

Atticus

You stir up such a ruckus in my life. A fire in the pit of my loins that cannot be easily distinguished.
Your name strikes is a controversial topic amongst my close friends. You are the reason Natalia and I are constantly whispering during class. You are every single glance I try and hide behind my shoulder. Most would say the obsession with you started with a girl, Lia, but I know it started with more. It's started on your very first day.

I precisely remember the first day you wondered into our science classroom. I was writing my assessment, deep in conversation with Natalia. And that when I saw you. Strolling to the desk in front of us, this immediately struck a pin of curiosity. I needed to know more about you.
The curiosity ready to kill the cat.
By the end of the lengthy week, I end up knowing who you are and where you fit in the social ladder. Atticus Mclanch, friends with the most popular people in school. Even IT.
Your eyes will forever generate chaos for me. But by the end of that damned term, Natalia and I got into many heated discussions. Discussions about you. About your icy eyes seeping into one of us. I say that till this day you are staring at her, she says to this day that you were staring somewhere else.

The school holidays rolled around and you were immediately forgotten.
Then Lia enforced her way through. Once a girl that skipped every single day, now artificially pushed into my friend group. By the second day she was with us, I knew that she had a thing for you. So, everyday, I would force myself to listen to her talk and talk about Atticus Mclaunch.
I've never been amazing at listening.

While she is with me, I catch vague glimpses of you staring at me. Your eyes staining my desire.
The dark part in me I rarely let out parades freely whenever you're around me.
And I know what you're thinking: sweetie, you only want him because you can have him.
True, but isn't it exciting? Loving something you can't have.
Craving the poisonous fruit.

Wanting his lips smashed against mine behind the corner right outside of S06. Whispering in his ear,
"Never again, my love"
My lipstick slightly tinting his lips. We walk side by side back to each other's friends.
Because I cannot have him. But I cannot let him go.