angel cake ♡ tom holland/sebastian stan/chris evans oneshots

At Me, Hoe // Chris Evans

   As far as you were concerned, your boyfriend Chris was perfect. He was sweet, he was kind, he was hot (which wasn't necessary given the fact he was an actual ANGEL but just made everything even better), he watched trashy teen movies with you, he was the best person you knew. So, of course, the haters confused you indefinitely. And, most of all, the people in his life who said shady stuff to him to his face made you want to tear their faces off and slit their throats, but apparently that's considered "murder", so you couldn't do that (yet). You didn't say anything to Chris either, but it just ended up in a whole bunch of pent up anger. It was no secret you had anger issues when you were really young and you were excessively bitchy in your teen years, but you were over it - outwardly. Inside, you made nasty comments, and you screamed in frustration and you slapped every single person who ever said anything even remotely mean to your Chris.

   But you were serene on the outside - you were as good an actor as him when you wanted to be.

   You were able to keep your lid on, but when you met his friend Dan, you immediately wanted to get the pruning shears from the garden shed and scare him off.

   His smile was sweet, but forced, and venomous beneath the sugar. Your stomach curdled just at the sight of him, and your blood boiled when he looked you up and down like some object. You'd always been happy showing off your body when you were with Chris, because you could've said you were going to go out in a bikini and he'd just tell you that you were pretty enough to pull it off. That night, because you guys were having a few friends over for dinner, you were wearing an A-line skirt and clingy loose-knit cream sweater.  You should've stuck with jeans and a T-shirt.

   "Y/n, this is Dan, we went to high school together." Chris introduced you happily, and you smiled and shook Dan's hand.

   "Hi, Dan, pleasure to meet you." You smiled politely, fighting the urge to wipe your hand on your skirt. He smirked at you.

   "I love your accent. You must get a lot of guys, talking like that." He winked and you raised your eyebrow a little before you could help yourself.

   "You know I'm dating Chris, right?"

   "Yeah, you're all he talks about, and I'm excited to see if you live up to the tales, but you could definitely find a man real easy with an accent like that." He grinned wolfishly while you all made your way into the dining room. You rolled your eyes while you made your way to the seat beside Chris' (there was no head of the table, because the table was a circle - Chris said it was about equality but you knew it was just because it hurt less when he walked into it). Chris automatically stood again to pull your chair out for you. You winked at him while you sat.

   You all started to eat and drink and talk and laugh, you and Chris playing footsie under the table (you two always did that) and Dan trying to make eye contact with you all dinner. He asked you for salt, and putting his entire hand around yours when he went to grab it. You gave him a glare hard enough to cut diamonds before snatching your hand back and resuming the conversation.

   You put your chin on your clasped hands and smiled. "...And I was so confused. I mean, men like Chris don't just talk to women like me, it's just not done, especially not when I was wearing those HORRENDOUS mom jeans..." Everyone laughed, "But he came over and stuttered out something like a hello, and naturally I said hi back, smiling, because I didn't think to try and be alluring. He was Chris Evans, and out of my league, so I just tried to be friendly. He asked what I was doing on set, because I obviously wasn't doing anything normal, just sat in a corner with a notebook and a laptop watching everyone. He probably thought I'd sneaked in..."

   "I didn't, I wanted to know what the cute mystery girl was doing, sat on a table looking all sexy and making eye contact with me. I choked when I talked to her, it was awful, but I asked her for coffee and she blushed, it was so cute-" He smiled fondly and you laughed and rolled your eyes while everyone awed.

   "I was so confused, I can't even begin to tell you. But, I said yes, and that has lead to this, and there you go." You finished while everyone awed again and Chris quickly kissed your hair. Dan smirked a little at you both and you sighed, spearing a piece of chicken and eating it. Anecdotes were swapped, and Chris put salad onto his plate, then glanced around the table.

   "Does anyone want salad?" He asked, putting on a delicate, feminine voice. Everyone laughed, but not loud enough for you to miss the quiet "Gay" from Dan, for anyone to miss it. You stood while everyone looked around in shock.

    "Dan, can you stand up please?"

   Dan glanced around, then stood, smirking a little still. 

   "What-" You reached across and effortlessly slapped him clean across the face. Most people spluttered a little.

   "Don't use gay as an insult, don't call my boyfriend gay because he's dating me. If it's meant to imply I'm a guy, then at me, hoe, don't make those backhanded ass comments. Leave, please. I know where the knives are kept, and they aren't too far away." You said calmly, but your hands shook and your voice trembled. He looked around in shock, then laughed incredulously and left, slamming the door on his way out.

   "Did you just tell him to at you?" Chris said the second the door thumped shut.

   "Yeah, I have no idea why."

   "It's cool."

   "That it was. Toast to that coolness." Anthony said, raising his glass and winking at you, though not creepily like Dan, just in a friendly manner. Everyone did and you tried not to smile.

~~~~~

this was bad

i need requests

BUT

BIG NEWS

i come home today

and my sister greets me in the kitchen where i'm dumping my shit 

and says

"do u know about the poetry thing?"

i think no because what the fuck is she talking about

and i say

"no what the fuck are you talking about?"

and she just gallops into the living room

not answering me

and i go in

"mum what's-"

"do u know about the poetry thing?"

like can you please let me finish

"no, what is it?"

"you've been picked for this poetry thing at school!"

and that set panic like a fire blazing in my head

because all my poetry is bullshit

all of it

but long story short

i've been picked out of everyone in my year to skip periods 2-4 (ayeeee) 

and do poetry with primary school kids

because apparently

i've got flair in poetry

like no

lmao

it all sucks

anyway i'm just happy that i'm kinda being recognised at school by teachers for writing

it's a really nice feeling:)

love for my loves

viv x