angel cake ♡ tom holland/sebastian stan/chris evans oneshots

I'm Fine // Sebastian Stan

   Her lungs. They were bigger than they were a second ago, Amara was sure. Or maybe her ribs had shrunk. Or Hell, maybe both. Either way, breathing was no longer an easy aside like blinking. It was a chore. It was a task. It was torture, continuing to inhale and exhale like she could do so without internally aching so badly she would rather be dead. She'd had the nightmare again. She hadn't intended to fall asleep on the sofa waiting for Chris so they could watch Sebastian on Jimmy Kimmel, but one minute she was promising herself she was only resting her eyes for a few seconds, the next she was out. Then it came.

   The smoke.

   The trembling ground.

   The loneliness.

   The screaming.

   The fear.

   And then she was woken up by a panicked Chris, who had come in with the spare key and been genuinely sure Amara was having a seizure from the way she twitched and cried and gulped for air. She sat straight away, head spinning, and gasped, shaking hands reaching for anything solid to ground herself with. She found Chris and gripped his arms hard enough to leave bruises, eyes darting around the room and searching for Sebastian. He always knew when she'd had the nightmare, he just KNEW, he didn't need to be told, and he let her cry on him, and he made her the salad she liked, and he just held her and watched movies with her until her hands didn't tremble and her breathing didn't hitch and her mouth didn't feed whimpers into Sebastian's chest. She was, in general, a pretty happy person, bubbly, fun, nice to be around. And for that reason, no-one but Sebastian knew about her nightmares. Even if they weren't dating, she would've made sure he knew, because she knew he wouldn't judge or verbally pity or tell her she was okay, but that was bullshit, and they were both fully aware of that. He comforted her how she needed to be comforted, that was all. And he wasn't there.

   "Ammie?" Chris said questioningly, brows furrowed in worry. Amara didn't answer, just swaying a little.

   "Where is he?" She croaked.

   "Sebastian?"

   She nodded.

   "He's... he's at the studio. Jimmy Kimmel? Remember?"

   "Fuck." She sobbed, flapping her hands and retching. Chris ran into the kitchen and placed the mop bucket in her hands just in time for her to copiously vomit into it. She wailed in between throwing up her lunch while Chris pointlessly smoothed her hair away from her face and told her she was fine. Amara didn't know when he got his phone out, or when he dialled Sebastian, or when Sebastian picked up, but she heard his voice.

   "Chris? What's up?" Sebastian asked.

   "Seb?"

   "Ammie? Ammie what happened?" Sebastian asked when he heard the weeps and both Chris and Amara could hear him leaping to his feet, and someone protesting.

   "I don't know what's happening, man, I came in and-" Chris started to explain before Sebastian cut in.

   "Did she have the nightmare?"

   "I don't know, I-"

   "ASK HER!" Sebastian screamed and Chris turned to Amara.

   "Sebastian asks if-"

   "Yeah, I did, tell him I'm fine though, I don't need help-"

   "Ammie, Ammie, no you aren't, you're not fine, I'm coming home now, I'll be back in a half-hour, just sit tight. Chris, put the Addams Family on, that's next on the list, um..." Sebastian's breathing sped up and they could tell he was running, "Chris, make her a salad?"

   "What?"

   "Make her a salad! Have you got salad stuff?"

   "I don't-"

   "FUCK IT, I'll do it myself! God, okay, don't tell her she's fine, you cannot tell her she's fine."

   "What, why-"

   "BECAUSE THEN SHE'LL BELIEVE IT, SHE'LL STOP CRYING, AND THEN SHE'LL CRY LATER ON AND IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO STOP HER CRYING IF SHE HOLDS IT!" He yelled and they heard Sebastian tell a cab driver their address, and that it was urgent.

   "Ammie, baby, can you hear me?" Sebastian asked tenderly and Amara gulped.

   "Yeah."

   "I'm coming now, okay? I'm making you a salad, and- is Chris putting the movie on?"

   "He's holding the phone."

   "FOR FUCKS SAKE CHRIS, PUT THE MOVIE ON!"

   "Okay, okay, jeez, sorry." Chris put the phone on the sofa next to Amara and she put the bucket on the floor, still sobbing.

   "He's putting the movie on, right?"

   "Uh huh."

   "Good. Just sit tight, pretend I'm there. I'm only ten minutes off, I think, I won't be long. I'm gonna stay on here until I get back though. Keep crying, Ammie, let it out. Tell me what happened."

   "You know what happened."

   "Tell me, Ammie."

   "I was- I was just waiting for Chris, and the um, I was tired, so I thought I'd just rest my eyes for a few seconds, but then- and then-"

   "Breathe. Keep going."

   "I fell asleep. There was all the people running, and the buildings falling, and everything was falling, and you weren't there, Sebby." She sobbed and the opening credits of the movie started.

   "I'll always be there, Ammie, don't worry. I should really not let you watch superhero movies."

   Amara laughed in spite of herself, looking down. Chris handed her some water and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

   "Thank you, thank you, just keep the change. Ammie, I'm outside." The front door opened and slammed shut instantly after, then loud footsteps sounded and Sebastian effortlessly vaulted the back of the sofa and crushed Amara into his chest, warm and solid and there.

   That was why she loved him - because he was there, always.

~~~~~

whelp

bit of a mess

i'm also salty

at: sister

i let her watch freaky friday (one of my 65-odd dvds) yesterday

and i forgot that i left civil war in the dvd player

and i take GOOD ASS CARE

of my dvds

like i care for them more than my body

because they are the priority

always

and i come down today

to watch the martian

because i was in a the martian mood

and what do i find

WITH THE SIDE THAT GETS SCRATCHED

ON THE DIRTY ASS TV STAND

CIVIL

FUCKING

WAR

and now i'm highkey considering having one in the house

but our boiler is getting fixed so i can't (yet)

AFTER A WEEK

WE'RE GETTING HEATING BACK

YOU EVER TRIED TO WASH YOUR HAIR OVER THE SINK?

IT'S FUCKING S C A R R I N G

DON'T DO THAT SHIT

lmao anyway

viv x