Only You (Greyson #1)

All Those Years Ago

Chapter 41

Tristan

I left work early to pick up a few things for Claire: a baker's dozen white roses, some Chinese food and a dimomad necklace. I knew none of these would fix the actual problem going on with Claire and I but maybe it could be a start.

I was so worried about Claire. I didn't even care that Vicki stormed into the office demanding to speak with me. And escalated to her being restrained and thrown into jail for disorderly conduct. I raced up the stairs to my floor. I unlocked my door,"Claire? Are you...."

What happened here?

I put my gifts down on the console table and took in my destroyed apartment. There was slasher marks on the walls, anything made of glass was destroyed, the couch was tipped over and full of holes, the oven was on and the stove had a burning Flame with no pot, all of my paintings were ripped, all of my electronics were destroyed,"Claire?"

At least she was out of bed.

"Claire?" I said knocking on her door,"I'm glad your up a bit more". That was nothing but dead silence on her end of the door,"Claire?" Normally I would get a fuck off or go away. But dead silence wasn't normal. I would pop my head in for a moment just to make sure she was okay. I unlocked her door to find it was barricaded shut," Claire? I only want to make sure you're okay. If you say something I'll go away".

Nothing.

"Please say something. I don't want---"

A gunshot cracked through the air as loud as thunder but with the raw power of a storm. My senses sharpened with a rush of adrenaline coursing through my body. With a voice as small and soft as a child I stared at the door,"Claire?"

No answer.

She didn't.

I held my breath, straining to hear with every ounce of my concentration. Not quite silent. Cool air whispered through my apartment’s ventilation system. A bad water heater in the basement sent out ambient pops in background. The refrigerator’s compressor hummed as it switched on inside his kitchen. My ears strained for more sounds, more clues. But all I heard was silence. "CLAIRE!" I screamed.

I desperately pounded on the door forcing it to open. "Claire! Please! Say something!"

She's fine.

She didn't do anything.

There was a silence that seat upon my soul. I felt a chill in my blood, coldness bringing the synapses of my brain to a stand still. It is a pain, that even without the anaesthesia of false hope.

I'm lost.

I stain the floor with my love and tears. It runs from my mouth and I choke on the air. It bleeds from my ears and drips from my chin. This heartbreak feels cold like concrete drying in my chest. I cried as if my brain was being shredded from the inside.

I was so broken.

I couldn't even focus my energy to push on the door anymore. I broke myself to my very core. Every atom of my being screamed in unison, traumatized that I would exist without Claire. When the wracking sobs passed I cried in such a desolate way that no-one would bare to listen for long. I had gone from gregarious to hanging by a thread, a transformation I could never reverse.

"Claire, I'm so sorry", I took all of the good parts of you and destroys them.

I never deserved her love.

I didn't deserve a fraction of the love she showed and gave me. I think down to the ground with my head pushed against the door. I couldn't stop crying and I screamed until my voice went raw. I never should have introduced myself. I should have left her alone. At least then Claire would still be alive. I should have seen the signs. I should have... I shouldn't have try to be a part of her life.