Worlds Collide

Beck Valdez

Beck,

Ending it was the smart thing to do. The logical choice. Because in the end we both know that I had to let go. But please know that just because I let you go, doesn't mean I don't still love you, because I do. So much. When I told you that I thought we should break up, I was screaming inside. I didn't want to let you go but I knew I had to leave before you left me. I wanted you to ask me to stay. I thought you would fight for me. But you didn't. Instead you told me you were sorry. That you really liked me. That you never wanted to hurt me. And somehow that's what hurt most. Talking on the phone felt exactly the same as all the other times we talked. And that's why I think that when you said it. When you told me you didn't think we'd last. I think you knew exactly what you were doing. I think you knew what the consequences would be. I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold on until my hands were shaking from the strain and I couldn't hold on anymore. But I knew that being left would destroy me. That leaving was the selfish choice. But sometimes I have to be selfish. Sometimes I have to think about myself because I can only stand to be broken so many times. I am not as strong as people think I am and I'm sorry I never told you that. But that's the reason I let go. Not because I didn't care. Please never think that I didn't care, because I did. Wholeheartedly. Sometimes I think that maybe if we had met at a different time or a different place, maybe we would have been ok. But I can't think about what was anymore because eventually everyone leaves. Sometimes people are only meant to be temporary happiness and I understand that right now I am not okay, but somehow that's ok. Please just know that just because I let you go doesn't mean I wanted to. Because I miss you.

-Silena Grace

~An apology letter from a broken granddaughter of Aphrodite