( 🦋 ) 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗹𝘆 ❜ ʰᵘᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍᵏᵃⁱ ᵏᵃᵐᵃˡ

10/21/19 | 휴닝카이

OCTOBER 21 YEAR 19

No one from school found out about it. No one found out that I tried to kill myself. Shihye had wrapped my wrist with bandages yesterday when we came to Taehyun's house. She didn't say much during her stay nor did I or Taehyun.

A lot of thoughts were running in my mind at the time. A lot of Hows, a lot of Whys and Whats. She lived right next to Taehyun so she stayed for dinner. I should be thanking Taehyun's parents for asking the right questions, because if not I wouldn't have known.

Shihye's parents work as accountants at a very successful franchise company and that they wanted her to be an investor when she grows up. But Shihye wasn't interested in business, she would rather be a psychologist or continue competing as a gymnast. She had a tournament coming up next weekend and that she won gold the last tournament four weeks ago.

Taehyun's parents seemed to be interested in her. Then they asked about her school, she said it as it is; she is the school's top 1 student. She worked hard for it because she wants to have good grades like her older brother who also was the school's top 1 student last year before he entered university like everybody else.

"How did you know that Hueningkai was about to.. jump off?" Taehyun's father hesitantly asked. I was seated across Shihye so it was easy to glance up at her.

"I saw his reflection standing at rooftop by a window from the gaurd house at the gate when I met Taehyun. I haven't been resting well that's why I passed out right after." Was her excuse, but I believe it's something more than that.

Something deeper and mysterious.

Beomgyu-hyung was sick today so I had to handle all these girls by myself. Fortunately during lunchbreak, I escaped by running up to the rooftop where I saw Shihye sleeping once again.

She was sleeping at the same spot where I first saw her up here at my first day at school before I got a call from my mom that I had to go home..

Come to think of it. If I actually had made it, I would've been dead too. I'm alive all because of Shihye running after me and taking me to her uncle's pet shop after she had kisseㅡ nevermind.

It was nice to be back at the rooftop again actually. No one other than Shihye and Beomgyu-hyung comes up here. This was the last place I ever heard of their voice. This was where my sister said last proper goodbye to me.

I could still remember her voice, how happy she sounded and how optimistic she was at asking how my first day had been so far. We planned on going to arcade since it was my birthday... but that didn't really happen.

While I was reminiscing of their last days, I hard shuffling then footsteps neared me. I turned to see Shihye approaching my direction, eyes looking ahead and earphones still plugged. She stood next to me as she too look out the campus view from ahead. And that's when I realised that she was one tall girl. I'm guessing that she's around 5'8? As tall as Beomgyu-hyung.

We didn't say anything for a few minutes before she suddenly took off her earphones and faced me.

"You up for arcade?" It was the first time she had talked to me like that. She didn't wait for me to answer and lead me back to the empty classroom to grab our backpacks.

So we cut class to go the arcade. We had loads of fun and it was the first time I've seen her smile even though it was just a really small smille.

I showed off my video game skills but she was just as good as I was - which was surprising. But if there's one thing she wasn't good at, it was the claw machine. I tried to bad to help her through this piece of cake, but she just couldn't.

The last thing we did at the arcade was going to the photobooth. I remember her entering and sitting down next to me. But it wasn't awkward at all. The camera started flickering as it took our pictures. Surprisingly, Shihye did smile for the camera but went back to her usual RBF after we got our photos. We both have copies and decided that we should write a note on the back before exchanging. It was my idea ;).

I wrote; "You're prettier when you smile, noona"

I saw her read the note with her eyes and a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. I didn't read what she has written for mine yet cause I waited til I get home.

I just read it. It said;
"I want to see you smile genuinely more."

A smile spreaded at me face after I read this and I was really moved. If this continues to happen, then maybe I'll be able to move on.

Just maybe.

ㅡ HUENINGKAI, 21:34