Soldier of Love

What's Done in the Dark, Comes to the Light

"Scoot over, whore." She said, smacking thighs.

I moved over and she sat down next to me, sipping on drink of Oberweis. I know thus heifer did not go to my favorite dairy shop and did not get me anything while she was there.

"Before you say anything, here," Fatou said handing me a cookies and cream smoothie. Aww, she really does love me. Either that or she read my mind. "I know your ass is gonna get emotional soon so I ran out to get these."

Without saying anything, I leaned over and hugged her. She was stiff at first, but eventually she hugged back. I don't know why she acts so uptight all the time. She knows she loves me.

            “I’m going to miss you.” I mumbled into her shoulder.

            “Yeah, yeah.” She said shaking me off.

I rolled my eyes. Usually, I’m used to her being an ass and insensitive but right now isn’t the time. I’m not going to see her for a while and this is my one and only best friend. The least she could do is show a little emotion.

            “You’re being really annoying.” I muttered.

            “You’re the annoying one, with your overly sensitive ass.” She spat.

            “Damn, Fatou. Do you not care that I’ll be in LA and you’ll still be here in Chicago? Why are you such a bitch? Are we even best friends? Or are you just trying to make my life hell? One would think you’d want me to yourself, hence the fact that you told everyone in the damn school to back off of me.” I said standing up in her face.

For once in her life, Fatou was quiet. Usually, shed have a smart retort right away, but this time she had nothing. Apparently, I was right and she was wrong. She must be really salty now. Bingo.

            “Naomi, I don’t have time for this.” She mumbled.

            “It seems like you don’t have time for anything anymore. Tell me, how did you fit me into your schedule today? Cancel a date with Chresanto?” I shot at her.

My skin was boiling. I was pissed. Usually I’m not so angry, but this was my last straw. She’s always nonchalant and blunt and it pisses me off! She’s supposed to be my best friend—my  only best friend, part of the reason I don’t have many friends, the least she could do is act like she’ll miss me or some shit.

            “I know your boogie ass isn’t talking! Miss I’m flying out to see my rapper boyfriend. Miss I lost my virginity at 14. Miss I’m still sprung out on my ex who cheated on me multiple times. You never had time for me! You were always with that nigga! The nigga who damn year used you to whip his shitty ass. Now I’ve got a boyfriend and you’re tripping? Glad to see you know how it feels.”

            “FUCK THAT.” I shouted. “I was fucking young. And that’s no excuse for you to go around telling people not to be my damn friend! This whole time, I thought I was an outcast because of Jacob, when the whole time it was because of you. What did you say? What did you say for them to actually listen to you!?”

            “I was doing it to protect you…” she said quietly.

I’m gonna get on her ass about that in a minute. How is that protecting me!? Regardless I want my question answered. “What. Did. You. Say!?”

            “Jacob wasn’t an outcast. People thought he was cute…people liked his originality.” She began.

            “Get the damn point.” I hissed.

            “I told everyone that you and Jacob had uncontrollable diseases that were very contagious. But I only did it to protect you. At the time, it made sense. I wanted someone I could call my one and only best friend…”

-

            “Naomi and Jacob sitting in the tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g! Keep your legs closed, whore! Maybe you wouldn’t be on the death bed!”

-

At that moment, everything made sense. Well, specifically, why people said the things they said to me. I couldn’t even look at Fatou. What she did was unforgivable. I would have appreciated her more if the story was, I didn’t want anyone to use you. You can’t trust anyone out here. It’s good to have one real friend, rather than twenty fakes. So I told everyone to back off. But instead, it was, I told everyone you had diseases that they could catch if they didn’t back off.

My hand raised, having a mind of its own, and came in contact with her face. The force was strong. My hand burned and I’m sure her face stung as well. But she deserved it. Her actions no longer make sense to me.

There’s no explanation for why she was so bitchy all the time.

There’s no logical explanation for the rumors she started about Jacob & I.

There’s no way in hell I can ever figure out why she treated me the way she did, let alone why I put up with her.

            “Mimi—“

            “Don’t “MiMi” me!” I said pushing her weary hand away.

            “Please, just listen.” She begged, her voice cracking.

I’d never seen this side of her. I didn’t know how to react. I’d never seen her so sad and hurt. So ashamed. But that’s how she should feel. She digged this whole herself, now she has to get herself out of it.

            “I’m so sorry. I genuinely am sorry. I was young. Back then everything I did made sense, but now not so much. I was jealous. Everyone wanted to be your friend and I wanted to be your only friend. You were and still are gorgeous. You’re black and Japanese. Pretty, silky hair. Deep dimples and pearly whites. Everyone wanted to be your friend for your looks. That’s wrong. I need an excuse that would work and that was the only one that did. I’m so, sorry.”

At that point she was crying, “Fatou, do you know what you put em through? Everyday Jacob and I were teased.”

            “And I was there for you!”

            “That’s the least you could have done! You were the reason I went through this!”

Maybe it is best that Fatou and I will be living in two different states. She’s staying here and attending Colombia State Chicago. As you all know, I’ll be in LA. We both have majors in writing. She’ll have a minor just like me, except in dance.

            “I know, what I did was stupid! But look at me! I made friends by being a bitch to everyone. No one enjoys old, quiet Fatou. I made my way through school by being blunt. Do you think I enjoyed being mean to everyone!? Of course not.”

Part of me believed her, but the other part of me that this was some stupid sob story. She acted her “bluntness” out too well. She was mean 24/7 and never showed a weak moment until now. If it was really an act, wouldn’t she show it sometimes? Exactly.

Fatou—she looked so weak and vulnerable right now. Her head buried in her hands while loud sobs escaped her mouth. I was stunned. As said before, I didn’t know what to do. Ignoring the pain I felt, I comforted her. That’s what a good friend does. Or maybe it’s just in my nature to forgive those who have hurt me until I’ve had enough.

*

I miss her, I really do, he thought as he drunk down the cold, burning liquid.