From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

JUNE 2000 - LEX (Part 4)

I looked up from the conversation I'd been having with Royce and Cassie to see Marshall staring at me from a sofa across the room. He didn't even try to hide it. He just smirked when my eyes met his but he didn't look away, even though Denaun and Swifty were clearly talking to him about something. I tried to mask my smile but it was no use in front of Cassie. She caught my blush and returned it with a subtle grin. I let her and Royce finish their talk while I went to fill up my drink; they had really been hitting it off and I could tell she kinda liked him.

I topped off my red Solo cup with a little more Bacardi than I had intended along with a splash of Coke. I searched for a bag of fruit snacks on the food table but couldn't find any. I really wanted some though, so I decided to venture down the hall to the vending machine area. Big Naz stood outside the door and nodded to me as I walked out. The last time I had seen him was that horrible night and he had been standing in exactly the same place...just outside Em's hotel room door. I shook the memory out of my mind as I looked for quarters in my wallet.

"Nate?" I called when I saw who had beaten me to the snacks. 

He looked up suddenly. "Oh, hey Lex. I was just..."

"About to indulge in a midnight sugar high?" I laughed, raising my eyebrows at his arms full of sodas and candy. 

He blushed and nodded, "I guess you caught me. Don't tell Marshall. He'll be pissed I left the room without telling him."

"It'll be our little secret. As long as you gimme some of those fruit snacks, since you seem to have taken the last one out of the machine," I pointed.

"They're all yours," he replied, handing me the bag.

"Thanks." I parked myself on a bench along the wall opposite of the machines. "And I'm sure it's not that he wants to keep you hostage or anything; he just....wants to keep you safe, ya know? There's a lotta bullshit that goes on in this industry." 

Nate sat down next to me. "Yea, he's been kinda paranoid lately. He's....I don't know...different," he said with his head down, looking at the snacks overflowing in his arms. 

I chewed my fruit snacks contemplatively. "He's been through a lot..." I finally said quietly. "I think he just wants to shield you from all of that, but at the same time he's been waiting for so long to have you back in his life. It's a hard balance."

"Yea," he answered, piling his goodies on the bench in between us and cracking open a can of Sprite.

"How are things at Debbie's?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Same as they were before I left I guess. Maybe a little better cuz she's not home as much, now that she's got a new boyfriend."

I nodded.

"Marshall wants me to live with him. Did he tell you that?"

"Yea, he did. Would you like that?"

"Definitely. I hope it actually happens," he sighed, popping some peanut M&Ms in his mouth.

"Don't worry. When your brother puts his mind to something, he gets it," I reassured.

"Yea," he mumbled.

"Boy, didn't I tell you to stay yo ass in the room and call me if you needed anything? Gimme those M&Ms," Em jokingly disciplined as he swiped the bag of candy out of Nate's hand and ate some.

"Okay Eminem," Nate snickered. Em acted like he was gonna backhand him but tousled his short hair instead.

"We can still hit the beach tomorrow, right Em?" Nate asked like a little kid wishing for a puppy for Christmas.