From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

NOVEMBER 1997 - LEX (Part 2)

My mom's gentle snoring on the couch next to me was comforting. She had fallen asleep as we watched a TV presentation of Gone With the Wind, one of her favorite movies. She had been awake since 2am and it was now 10pm. I knew she was exhausted. I pulled the huge cream-colored fleece blanket that we were sharing further up to her shoulders. The fire was still going strong in the fireplace but I was chilly. I had on a pair of grey Champion sweatpants and my blue Detroit Lions sweatshirt with a pair of white fuzzy socks, and the thermostat was set to 72 but I couldn't shake the chill I had. I got up from the couch carefully so as not to disturb my mom.

I started to boil water in a kettle and pulled out my favorite bedtime tea, Lavendar Chamomile. While waiting, I leaned against the counter and looked over the house. All remnants of the evening were gone. The dining room table was completely empty except for a vase of fresh flowers, all the food had been packed away, and the dishes had been washed. A few lit candles filled the house with scents of pumpkin pie and apple spice. That had reminded me, we still had pumpkin pie left! I warmed myself up a plate and added a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Just as the kettle start whistling, I heard a soft tapping at the door. I looked carefully, a little on edge after the commotion of the evening. It was Marshall. I tucked my hair behind my ears in an effort to look a little more presentable. My hair was up in a messy bun with loose strands around my face. I honestly hadn't thought he'd be back.

"Hey," I greeted quiety as I opened the door. "You don't have your key?"

"I didn't wanna just barge in. I saw through the window that your mom was sleepin'," he nodded toward the couch. He took off his hood and turned his cap backwards as he followed me back into the kitchen where I finished making my cup of tea. 

"Damn, I didn't even get dessert," he said, taking a few bites of my pie and ice cream. I giggled. "Want me to make you a plate?" I asked. "I can do it," he replied, getting a plate and fork out. It was kind of weird seeing him maneuver his way so comfortably around my kitchen, but it was also nice.

We took our dessert to my room so we could talk without waking up my mom. I flipped the light on which automatically turned my stereo on to WJLB's nighttime slow jams segment. Em draped his coat on my desk chair before we lounged on the bed and finished our pieces of pie. The same pie that we had made together at midnight the night before. We complimented each other on how well it had turned out.

"So," I finally brought myself to say. "What happened with Kim?" He got up to put his plate on my dresser before sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window, away from me. "Exactly what I expected to happen," he sighed. He shook his head. "What am I supposed to do without my baby girl, Lex?" He was so incredibly sad, it broke my heart. "It's like, nothing can ever just be 100% good. I finally got my big break with this music shit, but now I'm being kept from my own daughter. What the fuck games is the universe playin' with me right now?"

I placed my plate neatly on top of his and walked around the bed so I was facing him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned down slightly so my eyes would be even with his. "Hey," I said gently. He slowly raised his head to make eye contact with me. "You're gonna get her back. You are. Even if it takes a little bit of time. You're gonna use the money you make on these next two albums and buy a nice house and get a great lawyer who will get her back for you."

I really believed it, and I wanted him to. I had no doubt he was gonna blow up big once his LP came out. But I could tell Kim had said some shit to make him feel horrible about himself, as usual. I just wanted to hug him, comfort him. But after the accusations that had been made earlier, I wasn't sure if I should. He was dealing with enough shit already than to add any kind of confusion to our relationship. I just wanted to be there for him as a friend.