From Infinite to Kamikaze: A Novel

JUNE 2000 - LEX (Part 2)

                 

I was up long before the sun the next morning since I hadn't really been able to sleep in the first place. Em's words just kept playing over in my head. "Come lay with me?" It had taken every ounce of strength in me to turn him down, but I knew it was the right thing. I knew that letting us get that close would be dangerous...

I had passed by his room on my way to bed about 20 minutes after he had gone upstairs and heard him in the shower. I left a pair of his basketball shorts and one of his T-shirts that I had kept from when we were together on his bed and washed the clothes he had been wearing that were tossed on the floor.

I climbed out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt over my tank top and pajama shorts. After taking his clothes out of the dryer and folding them, I left them on the kitchen counter while I made coffee and cranberry orange muffins. Once those were in the oven, I leaned on the counter...wondering how long he'd stay today. It was Monday and I had reserved studio time. I went over to my piano in the living room, which was the only piece of furniture in that room, and began to play a melody I had been working on. I didn't have lyrics to it yet, but just the notes were enough to make me feel something...something I hadn't let myself feel in a long time.

I didn't know how long I'd been playing. But with my eyes closed, my back to the foyer, and the feel of the keys beneath my fingers, I wasn't aware someone was watching me until I stopped to go check on the muffins. I turned around to find Em sitting on my staircase, watching me intently.

            "Oh, hey," I blushed. "Didn't hear you come down." I tucked my hair shyly behind my ear and started to make my way back towards the kitchen, passing the staircase on the way.

"Damn Lex...you got really good at that thing," he nodded at my shiny black Baldwin. At a little over $5,000 it was the biggest purchase, besides my house and my car, I had made in my entire life. It was my baby.

            I smiled, briefly making eye contact with him as I walked by. "Thanks. How'd you sleep?"

He stood up and followed me into the kitchen where the smell of fresh coffee and muffins infiltrated our noses and the rising sun gleamed through the French doors that led out to the deck.

            "Better than I have in a long time actually," he replied, parking himself on a stool. "These mine?" he asked, looking at the neatly folded pile of clothes on the counter.

"Oh, yeah, I washed them," I said nonchalantly, pouring myself a cup of coffee and handing him a Red Bull from the fridge. While he liked the smell, he hated the taste of coffee so I had become accustomed to keeping his favorite caffeinated drinks, like Red Bull and Mountain Dew, on hand...even after breaking up.

"Yea, I figured that when I came out the bathroom and suddenly had some fresh clothes on the bed. Can't believe you kept these," he mumbled, looking down at the clothes he was wearing.

I shrugged as I stirred milk and sugar into my mug. "They're comfy."

"I guess I probably smelled like high heaven after a night in the slammer, huh?" he joked as he opened and sipped his drink.

I sarcastically responded, "I wasn't gonna say anything but...."

We laughed and I was grateful that this morning felt less awkward than the previous night.

            "So what you doin' today?" he asked, biting into the sweet softness of the muffin I had placed in front of him along with a bowl of fresh berries.