Imperfect

S E V E N - A B I G A L E R U S S E L L

Back in Valdosta, in my lonely home of regret; this place seemed terrible now. I was disgusted, I didn't want to stay there anymore, but I had nowhere else to go.

  This house has so many memories, so many memories that I really wanted to forget permanently.

  The bed, something that I didn't want to touch or even lay down in, I despised it now.

  I went into the bedroom closet, scrambling for that one object as if it was some eggs.

  I quickly pulled it from the clothing hanger that it was attached to in the closet and brought it back into the bedroom, so that I could see it better with the lightening...

  A beautiful shirt, but so many memories... the shirt needed to be destroyed so that I could move on with myself, with my life...

  I carried the engagement shirt downstairs, ready to throw it in the trash can, where all of my memories belong, but I didn't.

  The annoying door knocking quickly got my attention, letting me drop the shirt on the floor, not caring for it.

  "Who is it?" I asked, with my hand on the doorknob...

  There was no answer; there wasn't even a sound of breathing.

  Whoever it was knocked again...

  "Who is it?" I questioned a second time.

  Still again, there was no answer...

  It was daytime; there was nothing that could happen. Who would ever murder me in the daylight?

  It seemed okay, like a harmless moment, so I decided to open the door without knowing who was exactly knocking on my door.

  Opening it, air blew in my face and my mouth became enlarged at who was standing at the door.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked, having many different emotions going through my body.

  I was happy for a second, then I was mad for a second, and then I wanted to cry for a second.

  Why was Lawrence back in Valdosta? What was he doing here?

  "I'm here for you..." he smiled at me wanting to touch me, attempting to touch my arm, but I refused him by moving my hand.

  "Why? I thought we were done... You hurt me..."

  "My father's dead..." he said...

  "You think that's gonna bring you inside of this house," I said, not really caring about the news that he blew at me, "Sorry for your loss, but I didn't like your father... or your mother..."

  "My mother's sick," he went on, even though I already explained my hate towards them, "she got down and sink ever since the passing of my father. I didn't know this until my mother finally had the courage to call me. He died that day I left, the day I was angry with him. He was killed in a head-on-collision car accident. I came to say that I love you. In a weird twist of events, that could've been you instead of my father and I would've been so devastated and heartbroken, because I still love you."

  Lawrence got down on one knee, still outside in front of the door, he grabbed my hand.

  I tried to not face him. I didn't want to hear it.

  "We had a hiccup," he tried to explain, "but I don't want to have any more hiccups. I love you, and I would like to ask if I could be your fiancé and your future husband again?"

  "Is this love real? Was it ever real?" I asked him, while a tear slowly slid down my face.

  "You know the answer to that, you've always known the answer to that..." he responded as his voice cracked as he got emotional as well.

  "Well," I looked down at him as he was still on his knee, "then my answer is the same as your answer."

  "Do you still have the engagement ring?"

  "Yeah," I looked around, "it's somewhere... somewhere..."

  "You lost it didn't you?" Lawrence asked me...

  "No," I went on, "it's back in the bedroom, where we both belong."

  "Both belong?" he asked.

  "This is more your home than it's mine..."

  I gently rubbed his hand, slowly rising up to his arm, soon touching his face.

  "How long has it been," I asked, "how long has it been since we made love?"

  "Can't remember," my renew-ly announced fiance responded while looking deeply into my eyes, "that's how long it's been..."