Imperfect

T W O - A B I G A L E R U S S E L L

Shivering in my own skin, I slept frozen.

  My body rested on the hard wood, wood that was as rotten and smelly as old garbage that's been sitting out for way too long. Mold grew in the corners of the small, claustrophobic area.

I wished that I could be dead, but I wasn't. I was still alive. Something was still keeping me alive, keeping me warm, and warming my heart inside.

The muscles of both arms squeezed my body as the head rested on my shoulders and neck. Lawrence slept with me inside of the outhouse.

Although he was fast asleep, I was still up.

  I heard every cricket outside, counting them too. I could count each one. There were about ten crickets in all. Crazy and weird, but amazing at what I could hear and sound out during the quietest times.

His parents disapproved of me, but Lawrence's love didn't fade away.

Earlier when he left downstairs to go talk to his upset parents, I thought we were done. I thought that we were completely over after all those loving years that we had together.

Not knowing the actual outcome, I was completely wrong.

  Instead of taking his parents' side, he took the love of his life's side. This made him even more attractive than before.

Because of their distaste in me, I had to sleep inside of the outhouse. I wasn't allowed inside of the house--as if I was an animal, or something more disturbing... a slave.

Despite their hatred of me, I still loved their son.

Lawrence isn't anything like his mother or his father; he's the total opposite.

I'm so confused with the situation. How can something so genuine and romantically nice as him come from something as disheartening and vile as his parents?

They hate me because their son was in love with someone like me. He was in love with someone that they've never expected their son would be in love with. They were completely traumatized that Lawrence was in love with a woman of color.

Too bad for them, it's 2017. Times have changed a lot.

  Now, there are same gendered lovers getting married, so what's the point of me being African American and Lawrence being Caucasian?

Although the world has changed, that doesn't mean that the people had changed with it. Some people accept and some people refuse to accept, and I must accept that as well. You can't change everyone's views, even though their views may be "bullshit".

I wish and hope that Lawrence and I's love become larger than this situation. I want it to outlive this despicable evil. This love is ours; it's imperfect, and it should never end.