Some Girls

Chapter 13

“So Finn is nice” Quinn said taking a seat on the lounge. 

“Yeah he is” Rachel agreed her hands fidgeting nervously as she tried to work up the courage to finally talk to Quinn about their relationship. 

“Quinn” she started “I’m sorry that I brushed you off earlier but I wasn’t prepared to see you and talk to you” she admitted. 

Quinn nodded “Ok” she said, she could understand that especially since she had done the same thing to Rachel the first few days after the fight. 

“I guess I kind of deserved it” she smiled “but I did come waving my white flag” 

Rachel nodded “I know that” she sighed “the thing is I wasn’t ready to hear what you were going to say” she said. 

“Why?” Quinn asked. 

“Because you were trying to say you were sorry and I know you think it’s going to make everything ok” Rachel finally looked up at her best friend tears filling her eyes “and I’m afraid that when I tell you it’s not your not going to be my best friend any longer and that scares me” 

Quinn's mouth fell open in shock and then closed again, what was Rachel saying. She licked her suddenly very dry lips before responding. “What are you saying?” 

Rachel wiped her eyes on her hands “I love you, I do but I’ve come to realise that I’m not in love with you like someone in a relationship should be” she whispered. 

“I-I” Quinn started to say but instead of words tears began to fall down her face. 

Rachel immediately moved to her side and wrapped her arm around her friend, she knew it was selfish, she was ending their five year relationship but she didn’t want to loose her best friend. 

“W-when?” Quinn finally asked. 

Rachel looked at her confused not too sure what she was asking “I mean when did things change?” she asked. 

“I don’t know” Rachel replied honestly “I think we changed gradually and instead of changing our relationship with it we’ve kind of just stayed the same” 

“But you just don’t fall out of love with someone suddenly, Rachel. There must have been something or some point where you realised?” she cried. In all the scenarios that had run through her head when she finally got to talk to Rachel never did she imagine this. She couldn’t believe that the women she loved was telling her that somewhere along the way she had fallen out of love with her, and worst of all how had she not noticed. 

Deep down Quinn knew she did, it was why she had started fighting Rachel so hard for them to move in together, she thought that if they spent more time together they would be happy again. 

Rachel dropped her head, there were a thousand if you wanted to break apart every thought she had “I guess it was when I realised I wanted something more, something else” 

“’what do you mean?” Quinn asked. “I mean was it the fighting over where we were going to live? Because you know I can change, I can move here” 

Rachel shook her head “No sweetie that’s not it” she replied “that was just what we continued to focus on, it’s what brought all of this to a head” she told her. 

“Still, it doesn’t change how I feel” Quinn told her. 

“And how do you feel, Quinn? because it’s been a very long time since we’ve talked about it” she said trying to remain clam and talk rationally. 

“I love you, I always have and I always will” she said. 

“yeah I know” Rachel said “but do you love me as Rachel your best friend since birth or do you love me as your partner and lover?” Rachel asked.