fourtris oneshots

if i told you

Their friends were sitting together, laughing under the gazebo that was lighted with string lights. Tris's eyes slowly found Christina and Will; the former sitting on the bench part of a table, leaning into the latter who sat on the surface. Will wrapped his arms tight around her, his face in her neck, lips pressing against her skin, making Christina smile softly.  After saying something to him that Tris couldn't hear from how far away she was, Christine glanced her way, giving her the small nod of encouragement she needed.

Tobias sat next to her on the blanket, looking up to the night sky. Turning her head to look at him, Tris didn't know why she had no courage to tell him how she felt. She would like to think that she was brave, but as soon as she sat down with Tobias, all the faith she had in herself was wiped away. Even when he kissed for the first time just four days ago, Tris still felt like she would be rejected.

"I hate how I'm here, sitting with you, about to tell you that I like you," Tris turned her eyes to Tobias when he began to speak, "and I'm only thinking about how I don't even deserve you."

The comment sounded so absurd that Tris had to quickly shook her head. "What are you talking about?" Their hands were so close, and Tris wanted to move her fingers the last inch to touch his. "You deserve me, and a lot of other things."

"You don't know that." Finally, his dark eyes touched hers. "You don't know anything about me, and still you want to do this; you still want to be with me."

"I don't need to know anything more about you. I know that you're selfless and brave. Honest."

"But, not kind." The words seemed like they had a deeper meaning that Tris didn't know of. "Never will I be kind, and you deserve more than that."

"You're good." Tris dipped her chin, drinking in the full image of Tobias. "You're working on being a kind person, and that matters. I know you aren't heartless."

"I don't know where my dad is," he said, right after she finished speaking, careful not to interrupt her. "You know I live with my mom, but what you don't know is that we had to go through a whole trial when I was around thirteen, after he had kicked my mom so hard she had a miscarriage with who was supposed to be my little sister."

Tobias paused when Tris took a short intake of breath, letting the news settle in. It was quick enough for a dread to settle within her bones.

"Which he wanted, I guess, because we would've needed to move into a new house, since the one we lived in had only two bedrooms." Tobias continued, glancing away to stare at the stars again. "My mom's super protective of me, more so to people who would be in my life romantically, since the one she trusted with that part of her life turned out to be horrible. You could probably suspect how that is, and why there's no history of me dating anyone. But now, I'm getting ready to graduate and move away to college, and I couldn't be happier." He took a deep breath, "And I have these feelings for you that I haven't felt for any other girl before, and I've felt them for so long, and I need you in my life." Letting a dry laugh, "I don't even know why you kissed me back the other day, if I'm being honest with you. I don't know why you would even talk to me, and I'm telling you this because I know you might get up and leave with no intent of wanting to be with me because of who I am and who my parents are."

Tris wanted to say that what he was saying, about her not wanting to be with him knowing his past, wasn't anywhere near the truth. Instead, she let him continue speaking because it sounded like he wasn't close to finishing.

"My father abused me with a belt when I was old enough to take it, so around the age of eight. Five years, he continued, and I still have the scars on my back to prove it. Wednesdays were worse because it was when he had meetings with the people at his work and he would come home stressed and frustrated. He took it out on me." Tobias paused, looking at Tris to watch her reaction. "That's why--it's why I flinched when you touched my back when we kissed the other day. It's sensitive to touch, and I wasn't expecting it. But I won't act like that always, even if you do decide you want to do this."

I do. Tris said silently. I promise you, I do.

"I don't plan on staying here, in Chicago. I want to move away, probably to where I'm going to school, forever. Which, I know you wouldn't do because of your parents, and your friends that are here." Tobias pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them, and staring out into the empty park. "You probably shouldn't even be hearing this, all at once, before we even get together, and I'm probably ruining it by the second saying all of this. It's a mess--I'm a mess, and you need to know that before you commit to me or to this. People have tried to fix me, my mom's tried bringing me to counsellors, but. . .it doesn't go away. I have bad days, but they're rare now."

Tris's eyes didn't move away from him once, and she wanted to interrupt him there, to tell him she wanted to be with him, despite everything. She liked him more with each confession, every second he kept talking.

A small, gentle smile moved onto Tobias's lips and he let out a laugh. "I guess what I'm trying to get at here, is could you love me anyways, with this baggage I have? With my parents, my mom especially, with my goals being miles away from here, with my fucked up head. Do you still like me, and could you love me one day? Because I think, after these years of knowing you, I'm in love with you."

There was no shock, just certainty in Tobias's facial features as he admitted the words. They had known each other since Tris went over to Uriah's house in eighth grade to work on a project and Tobias was spending the night.

She remembered the second Uriah introduced her to him, could remember her friend's laugh as she blushed when Tobias said hey. From then on, they were friends, casually talking on Instagram before she shared her number with him once reaching the ninth grade.

He was probably one of the best friends she had, and in tenth grade was when she began liking him. For a year, she did so, and maybe the strong feelings she had were love, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to say them back yet.

Though, she still did like him. A lot.

So grabbing ahold of the courage she didn't think she had any of when she sat down with him, Tris took Tobias's face into her hands, and looked only at him as she said her part.

Some ways away, their friends had become quiet.

"I like you," she said. "I'm not ready to say the other words yet, but I am close to it. I like you, a lot, Tobias. I want to be with you. Anything you just said doesn't make me think of you differently. You are still Tobias to me, and I still like you. You're still good, and you deserve me, and so much more. Like I told you fifteen minutes ago. Which, thank you for doing that. I am so proud of you. You thought that opening up to me about your past would make me hate you, or whatever, and it only made me like you more. I don't care that you want to move away, I don't care that your parents are a mess and your mom may or may not like me. I'm in the relationship with you, not her."

There was another smile on Tobias's mouth and it made Tris laugh. A second later, the smile faded away, and Tobias said, "In a relationship, huh?"

The words caused Tris to roll her eyes, jokingly, and she replied with, "Just kiss me."

Tobias leaned forward so fast, releasing whatever control he had on himself while talking, lifting a hand to the back of Tris's head as he kissed her. Their friends, still sitting in the gazebo, cheered, clapped and whistled, and Tris laughed against Tobias's lips as she kissed him back. Tobias's other hand wrapped around Tris's back, pulling her closer as he kissed her harder, and Tris accepted it, feeling bold as she moved her hands from holding his face and slid her fingers into his hair.

"I think this is the hottest kiss I've seen from any of us!" Uriah shouted. "I knew you two would be together as soon as you laid eyes on each other! Pay up, Zeke."

Finally, after at least a minute, Tris pulled away, breathing deeply from the kiss. She saw the peaceful and relieved expression on Tobias's face and smiled. "I would stay here more to do that, but I'm pretty sure it's nearing my curfew."

They stayed close but Tobias raised his eyebrows. "I'll drive you home?"

It wasn't anywhere near eleven o'clock, but Tobias knew that, and he also knew that she wanted a few minutes alone with him without their friends watching.

"Sounds perfect."