fourtris oneshots

over you

The only light that the small house had was the Christmas tree in the corner.

Everything else was dark. The blinds were pulled, blocking out the white wonderland that was just outside the windows.

He couldn't look at it, couldn't feel the happiness it once brought him when he looked outside. The happiness it once brought him when he would feel her warm hands curl around his bare chest as they both stared out at the morning snow. How he would turn to her and find her in a pair of fleece pajama pants and one of his t-shirts that were so big on her but he still loved how she looked.

The roads were closed from the blizzard. Which meant, he was spending Christmas alone.

Christina and Will were to come with their two children; Shauna and Zeke with their newborn; Marlene and Uriah with just themselves. It would be the first Christmas he spent alone since she left.

Two weeks ago, he had went out to get a tree by himself. He put up the ornaments by himself, passing through the ornaments that she had made when she was a child. Her parents passed them down to her when she moved out to live in the house with him.

They were supposed to get married. They were supposed to have a family. They were supposed to grow old together. They were supposed to be happy.

But, it seemed fate planned something else.

He hated seeing her get sick day by day. He hated seeing her grow weak enough that she couldn't get out of bed.

The day that she started vomiting dark red blood was when she was taken to the hospital.

She died in that stupid place, died in his arms in the middle of the night. Nobody warned him. He thought they would live another day.

But, as he looked her as she slept, he heard her breaths stop. He saw her chest stop moving.

The next day was horrible. Zeke had to hold Tobias from almost killing the doctors.

I'll sue you! He had yelled, I'll sue all of you! You should have told me! You should have known!

It was even worse when he watched them move the blanket over her head, turning the heart monitor off. The long beep silenced but still filled his ears as he saw them wheel the bed out of the room.

He had rushed forward, his hands reaching for her. The bed stopped, the nurses moved out the way as he walked closer and pulled the sheet away.

She was already so pale, more pale than she had been when she was alive. Her lips were dry, the skin cracked and they had lost the lucious pink color.

In his chest, the beating machine that kept him alive ached. Tears filled his eyes and one dropped down to her face and he wondered if it would be enough to possibly bring her back to him. Just one tear, one tear full of sadness and love. He hoped it would fill her body with the oxygen he needed to stay alive.

But, that only happened in a different world, when tears were magic.

So he pressed a long kiss to her forehead, lowering his mouth to kiss both of her closed eyes. The kisses got shorter as he kissed her cheeks and then her dried lips.

A goodbye kiss. Short and sweet, with their lips barely even touching.

As he backed away, Christina moved her hand to hold his; the gesture of his best friend. A gesture that told him, "I am here and I am hurting and we can be the comfort for each other."

So, he held her hand in a returning action. He held her hand until he saw the nurses turn around the corner, bringing his love away. He held her hand until he had to leave the hospital. Then, he held her hand as they walked to their cars.

When he got home, the house stunk of sickness. He moved around, throwing every picture frame off of every shelf. He tore the wall decorations down, knowing that she had picked every one of them and he had let her. He walked upstairs, tearing the bedsheets of the bed and moved to their bathroom, throwing her soaps and shampoos down to the ground.

He moved out of the room and down the hall, to the three doors that had sticky notes on them.

Baby #1, the first card said.

He tore it down, ripping it to shreds. Ripping it to shreds because the handwriting was hers and he couldn't bear to look at it.

He continued with the rest. Three children, was what they planned to have. A house with five bedrooms, one more in case they had a child that was not planned, but still all together a blessing.

Instead, they got none.

That was two and a half years ago.

With a blank stare at the Christmas tree, he remembered everything. That's what he always did. Sat at the couch in front of the tree and just thought of every single detail that included her.

Putting up the tree was their tradition. They did it for the two years they had Christmas together.

She laughed, tilting her head back before she moved closer to him. "You're going to put too much ornaments on the tree," she said. "Be careful!"

"You have to have all of your child-made ornaments on the tree, babe," he said back, laughing on his lips. The tree was full with ornaments and Christmas music was playing in the background and the snow outside was happily falling.

Why hadn't he proposed? Was he that stupid? Why hadn't he asked her to marry him the day they moved in together?

It was freezing in the house now. His hands were cold and he just stared at the tree as he clenched them into fists.

"Some hot chocolate to warm your cold hands and your cold heart," she joked, handing him the mug.

"It's not my fault I didn't like Frosty The Snowman!" He retorted back.

It was her favorite movie. Just like Jingle Bells and Holly Jolly Christmas were her favorite songs. He always caught her singing along, even when she was really sick their third Christmas together.

So, all alone and without her, Tobias sat in front of the Christmas tree and stared into the lights, drowning deep into his memories.

+++

I. AM. SOBBING. i know it's not Christmas yet but i wanted to write this and i needed a good cry.
happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it! i love and appreciate you all.