Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 21--Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Lexie," She shook her hand, "Rob." They shook hands, too. "But we're going to have to get going. It's getting late and we don't want to be an invasion when you're trying to get every one to bed."

"Oh, honey, you're no invasion, eh." Lexie insisted. "But you're right. It is kind of late, you know." Lexie got out our family's jackets from the coat closet and handed them to us. "It's been wonderful having you over." She told my parents solemnly. I looked up at Derek and he smiled back down.

I was still looking up at Derek when my mom touched my shoulder lightly with her hand.

"Sam. We're going now." She told me softly.

I wasn't sure what had just happened to me. I shook myself out of my daze and took a step towards the door.

"Actually Mrs. Thomas, if it's okay with you and Sam, I could walk her home." I swung my head around to see my mom's reaction. There was a faint smile on her face as she gave him his answer.

"Go right ahead."

That was all she said and then my mom, my dad, and Cassie were all out the door. I stood staring at Derek, wondering why he'd just done what he'd just done. I didn't realize it, but while I was staring, Lexie had left the room.

"Are we going to go?" Derek's voice echoed through my mind. I cleared my throat.

"Yup. I'm all ready."

The whole walk to my house was basically silent with our hands in our pockets. It was like Antarctica and the snow was up past my knees, but I still felt happy, even in the 2 degree weather. That's right-A cold front went through. Apparently, according to Derek anyways, this was a very usually warm winter for this place. I refused to believe that.

"Hey Sam?" Derek said once we were our of his driveway.

"What?" I asked. I couldn't really see him, but I'd heard where his voice had come from.

"You never did tell me what happened on Tuesday."

I felt myself pannic, but I knew that I had to tell him the truth. After I told him Brandon's full story I'd felt a lot better, and I knew he'd find the words to make me feel better yet again. The only thing was that I didn't feel like dealing with it tonight.

"I know, Derek. And I'm sorry about that." I told him. "But I'm really tired." I said as I yawned. "And I promise you I will tell you on Monday, okay?"

"Promise?" He double-checked.

"Promise."

After about half the walk was over I began to wonder why I'd ever agreed to walking instead of taking to two minute ride back up the hill to my house. Especially when Derek wasn't even saying anything to me.

The truth was, though, he didn't have to say anything for me to understand anymore. I'd learned so much about him just in the day that I was beginning to feel like I really knew him.

The only thing I didn't know, I asked him.

"What are you thinking?"

Derek looked at me and probably didn't realize that his hair was messed up and all over the place. "Me?" He breathed a laugh. "I was just..." He paused and I could tell he was trying to find words, "thinking about my mom."

"Oh." I said.

"And you know what I think?" His brown eyes pierced into my blue ones. We turned to walk up my driveway before I answered.

"What?" I murmured into the night.

"I think that she'd really love you."

I stood there, shocked, not knowing what to say. Did he just say what I thought he said? "Derek...I," I tried to force out the words that I didn't have in me.

"Sh." He held a finger to his lips.

What he'd just said...it meant so much to me. For him to think that somebody so special to him would've liked me-much less loved me-there just wasn't a word for it. Nothing could possibly cover it.

I read somewhere that actions speak louder than words. I'm not positive if that's true, but there wasn't anything I could say. My hand brushed against Derek's on accident before I deliberately took his hand in mine. Without a word, we walked up my porch stairs and softly held hands.

Standing on my welcome mat, I let go of his hand and embraced him in a hug. My hands were on his back and he gently hugged me back. For a second I just let him hold on to me, wondering again what he was thinking. I could imagine that looking at those pictures of his mom had brought back memories and I was guessing that the day had been hard on him. I felt his jaw rest on my head before he pulled away with a half-smile on his face, but sadness in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"I have to leave now."

I laughed a little, but it was mostly to me.

"Don't worry, Derek. I'll see you on Monday."

Derek opened the door for me and I took a step into my house. There was a bigger trace of a smile on his face when he said, "I know," and shut the door as he turned to walk away.

Up in my room that night I thought mostly about Derek. Most of what I was thinking was far too complicated for me to register because of how tired I was, but I managed to realize that I was starting to rely more on Derek than the pathetic picture of Brandon that still remained on my dresser. Brandon didn't get me through life anymore; Derek did.

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