Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 5- Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Thanks again to all my friends and my fans!!! I love all of you guys. A lot.

But thanks a lot to XxParamoreRocksxX and Jacosea just because they're awesome and I love em'.

Seriously, this story has made me totally obsessed with yooper accents, i just love it sooo much!!! :D It's Great!

Hope you guys enjoy!

Oh yeah, and don't forget to comment/vote/fan, i love it when people do that. But really, I want some good feedback, i want to get better at writing and constructive critism is the way to do it, eh? (lol)

Anyways, luv you all,

--Kayce♥♥

Chapter 5--The Maze of Life

"I guess it wasn't that horrible." I said. "Attendance was definitely the worst part. It was...bad. The principal was reading off all the names and when he saw mine he made me get up on the stage and talk about myself. It's not like I knew what I wanted to say to a bunch of strangers so I just told them that I was from Utah. Then I was turning to go back to my seat and the principal asked everyone if they had any questions for me. This one kid with oily skin and greasy hair raised his hand and Mr. Calvin called on him. The kid just asked me out to the snowmobile dance like it wasn't a big deal at all. Everyone heard it and I didn't know what to say because there was no way that I was ever going to go to a dance with him. So I told him that I already had a date. It's not really a date, though, just so you know. Derek asked me to go just for fun, you know, as friends. Are you mad, because I don't have to go?"

Brandon didn't answer me.

"I'd understand if you were." I whispered.

His picture was still smiling like he didn't even care that I was upset. I was starting to resent the stupid thing. There was no emotion in the picture. It just always smiled. It wasn't even Brandon. Staring at how he just kept smiling made the tears come. I felt them well over.

"Answer me!" I screamed at him. "Answer me now! Tell me what to do!" He just smiled. "Why did you have to go and die on me Brandon?" I continued to shout. "If you cared about me at all you would've stuck around!"

I regretted my words as soon as the came out of my mouth. I began to cry harder, gasping for air in between sobs. I was having another panic attack, which wasn't good because the doctor told my mom that I'd need counseling if they didn't stop. I tried to hold back my tears by shutting my eyes. I stood up with the picture. "You did this to me!" I yelled at him. I slammed the picture down on the bed.

Once I'd calmed down I picked it back up, happy to see his face again. And also a little surprised that the glass hadn't broken. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" I cried again. "I didn't mean to. I love you."

When I was eating mom's soup downstairs I still couldn't focus on anything. My mind was too clogged with useless crap to understand anything.

Brandon....dance....Derek....Bryce....school....greasy-hair kid....Cassie....soup....death....panic....hate....love

That was just the beginning of what was racing through my head.

"So how was your day at-" my dad started to say.

"May I please be excused?" I cut him off. I stood up and belted for the door.

"School." I heard my dad say before I slammed the door behind me.

The second I got outside I realized that I should've gone somewhere else to think about my problems. Eighteen-degree weather didn't really help a person think too much. Plus there was a -5 degree wind chill that was going 22 miles per hour. And it was snowing. But since I was out there I figured that it didn't pay to go back inside.