Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 21--Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Derek wound up taking the snowmobile back to the house because we couldn't just leave it there. I awkwardly wound up walking back to the house with Amanda and I spent the whole entire walk wishing that I was somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"What were you guys doing there anyways, eh?" Amanda broke the silence after what seemed like eons.

"I...um....don't really know." Amanda eyed me with a strange look.

"How did you even find out about that place?" She whispered. I wondered if she was talking to me or herself.

"He brought me there." I informed her quietly.

"Really?"

Amanda sounded absolutely amazed. I nodded and she picked up the pace, making me trudge faster through the wintery snow. I could barely hear myself talk over our crunchy footsteps in the snow.

"Why is that a big deal?" I asked loudly over the crunching. I didn't want to come on as nosy, but I needed to know what was going on. Why was taking me to a tree house such a big deal? It was just a tree house....

All of a sudden Amanda stopped and faced me in the middle of the forest. "Didn't he tell you?" I shook my head. Her face turned somber and she met my gaze drearily. "He doesn't let anyone up there." She sighed. "He built that place all by himself, you know. It's where he goes when he's sad or mad. And when he needs to think..." She paused before she cleared her throat. "I think it has something to do with his mom, though, eh, but don't tell him I told you that. From what I know, she used to have a tree house at the old farm where she grew up with my mom. I guess she went there because being up in the trees made her feel like she was somehow closer to God. Maybe it even makes sense, eh. The higher you are up, the closer to heaven you are....at least that's what I get out of it." I held her gaze for a while before she looked down and started walking again. It seemed so surreal that Derek would share that kind of thing with me when I was just, well, me.

Right before we got into the house Amanda touched my shoulder to get my attention. "Derek's a great guy, you know."

I spent a few seconds interpreting what she meant, but either way, I would've answered the same way.

"Yeah." I said. "I know."

Eating with the Clemens and my family combined turned out to be a little less chaotic than I'd originally thought. Somehow Lexie managed to keep all of her kids under control, but I had no idea how. If I had six kids I think I'd go insane.

My mom and dad sat across from Derek's Aunt and uncle while Cassie and Amanda sat across from each other. Annie sat next to her mom and one of Amanda's brothers sat next to Annie. Jacob sat on the end. On one side of me was Amanda's other sister and on the other was Derek. Developing that order, however, was a very complex process which mostly consisted of a fight between the two younger Clemens boys over who got to sit by Daddy.

Over our meal we prayed the meal prayer and then dug in and stuffed our faces with a turkey that was sent from heaven above. Actually, Lexie made it, but it tasted like it was from heaven. Something, unfortunately, that my mother would never be capable of creating.

After supper was officially over, we played cards and groaned at how saturatedly full we were. If my stomach would've expanded any more, I would've floated away.

Lexie had to leave to go put Annie to bed and tuck in the other three younger kids. I was still a smidge confused on their names cause there were so many of them... Rob and my dad talked over beers and eventually my mom decided they should go home before he got drunk enough to be embarrassing.