𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽ℴ𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒽

5.

Jason's POV
"What is it?  Jason im scared, tell me," she says over my shoulder.  "Just relax Ana, you know I wouldn't allow you to get harmed, just trust me," and I walk over to the clear area.  "See, not so bad," I say as I set her on her feet. 

It was a small area clear of trees, but trees surrounding the small open area.  Looking up, the stars were bright and the full moon was just above us.  She lays on the grass looking up. She then gives me a look to lay with her. So I do so and she smiles looking at me.

I feel at sudden ease with myself, something I haven't felt in a while. For years really. I actually feel, normal for once. And it's only when I'm with her. I'm just so in love with her, all of my different side just disappears. "Jason," she says and I hum allowing her to talk.

"What was the real reason that you came to my window?" She asks and I sigh, but answer. "I just needed someone to talk to, I got really bad news today," I say and my vision getting blurry from my tears. The fake tears that is.  Anything to make her believe I actually have emotions.  

"Is everything okay?" She asks and I take a deep breath. "My mom, um, she died of an overdose today. This morning," I tell her and her face drops. "I'm so sorry," she says scooting closer to me and I hold her close to me with my face over her shoulder as I sob. She squeezes me tightly as I cry and she whispers in my ear. "I'm right here Jason, it's going to be okay," and it 'makes' me cry even harder.

Wow she falls for everything.

"I hated her, for so many years, and now that she's gone, I just want her. I don't care if she would beat me if I ever saw her again, I need her again," I confess to her. These are some feelings I've only kept with myself. I let her go and wipe my eyes and she looks at me, "I'm sorry, god I'm a fucking mess," I say trying to get up, I just wanted to be left alone. I should have never gone to her window.

"Jason, wait," she says holding my arm and I look at her. "What's wrong, that's the second time you've done that. You express your emotions to me, and then you try to leave," she says and I sigh.

"I–I don't know Ana. I just, I'm... I'm scared. I have all these trust issues. And when I date someone, I become crazy. Okay Ana? And I just want to keep you safe. I don't want you to see that crazy side of me, because I get so fucking crazy Ana. I don't want to hurt you, or for you to thing I'm some psychopath," I say and she gets close to me.

"I know you won't hurt me Jason, and I don't think you're crazy," she whispers to me. "Last night when we kissed, I just felt, normal for once. And you bring that out in me, but I know something will trigger that, and I'll just blow up," I say freaking out. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Calm down, I'm right here," and she grabs my hands intertwining our fingers.

"I'm crazy Ana, I don't want to hurt you," I tell her and she doesn't listen. "I know you won't hurt me Jason, just breathe okay. C'mon let's lay down," she says and I do so. "Thanks for carrying me by the way, I'm surprised I didn't break your back," she says and I laugh a little. "You don't even weigh a pound, I liked it though, I got a free kiss so it's a win-win," I shrug my shoulders and she scoots closer to my body.

She wraps her arm around my torso and rests her head on my chest.  "Tell me something crazy," she mumbles and I look down at her.  "Alright, so there was this guy, okay?" I begin and she hums for me to continue.  She cutely sets her hands on my chest and rests her chin her hands looking at me as I begin telling her the story. 

"And he was rather different, and there was this one girl.  Beautiful may I add.  She had these gorgeous big blue eyes that could kill you in a second because it'll just take your breath away.  And the guy doesn't even know how to act when he's with her.  She doesn't know it, but he's madly in love with her.  And he hopes that she feels the same.  Then one da–" I get interrupted by the sound of something walking as it makes the leaves crunch.