Title: Leaving THE FOREVER
Author: wordsbleed
What is 'Leaving THE FOREVER'?
- It is a story whose capitals make me feel nervous! Plus, it's also a teen fiction!
Rating:
8/10
EBI:
- Use more commas and complex sentences
- Proof check your writing before posting it, like an un-thorough edit, just to make sure that everything makes sense
- You miss out 'of' a lot. (I tried to listen to all the voices) - it's not necessarily wrong, but can disrupt the sentence flow a lot
- Use brackets, commas, semi-colons, ellipsis and other connectives
- Use more exclamation marks. ("Mark, you jerk." Is a bit anti-climactic)
- Sometimes 'in' is better off 'into' ('all the hatred she had put in it'
- Be consistent with whether you use capitals or not after !" or ?" etc
- Psychonoxious might be a better combination than Psynoxious as 'psy' doesn't really mean psycho. Also, the plus after should be an 'and'
- When saying a character is reading a book, you need to use capitals in the title of that book, especially when it's The Fault In Our Stars
- Plurals and tenses need watching. Remember to use a new line when another character speaks and put 'a' in front of 'BMW' etc because it's not more than one
Review:
The opening line is really good and the plot is fantastic. Not all sentences are as simple as they seem, however, some are short in flow, but not all readers will notice this in comparison to the big personalities conveyed by the author and their amazing writing style. The sarcasm is clear, and the chapters are short and snappy but the graphics used make them all the more prettier. There are unexpected twists around every corner, forcing to reader to keep their eyes constantly open and pried to this story. If you're into teen fiction with a twist, this could definitely be a good read for you.
Blurb:
'"Life is a one time offer, use it well."
Nope. Doesn't work for me that way. Wish, it could.
Mark Geller is a seventeen year old teenager with perfect grades, perfect life plans, perfect home, perfect family and a perfect best friend. Just like, we all want our life in this real world, but it is said "Everything seems perfect until it's done, right?"
His life brings you to a new world where everything is just a matter of choices which, changes things to whole new level.
"They say it's from B to D, from birth to death but what's between B and D? It's C, so what is C? IT IS A CHOICE. Life is a matter of choices and it is damn important to have fun till the time you can." Jean said with a wide grin across her face.
CHOICES, it was choices that mattered the most she said and I messed up mine.
I was like a puzzle which was shattered into pieces. She was a big part of it that could always fit in, but never completed the pictures.'
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