Beautiful Books And Reviews

77) His Death Was His Love

Title: His Death Was His Love
Author: 
What is 'His Death Was His Love'?
     - it is a vampire story! Whooooooo!

Rating:
      6/10

EBI:
- Capitalise the words in the title of the story
- Put full stops after a word, not with a space in front of it.
- Put speech in speech marks (")
- Use more complex sentences with commas and other punctuation or links
- Extend the chapters longer
- Use commas to break up the sentences where you want pauses but not to stop
- There's a lot of typos, you need to proof read before you post the chapters once you've finished writing them.
- The past tense of 'feeded' is fed
- Use a better range of vocabulary so that sentences aren't all short and simple
- Capitalisation (sometimes you need more, sometimes less)
- If you start writing numbers of years in words, keep consistent and do this in all future times
- Use commans and connectives
- Read more outside of writing, this will help you get used to grammar etc. For example "these dead bodies make me more hungry" rather than "these dead bodies makes me more hungry"
- If you start using italics for speech, keep doing this throughout rather than switching back and forth.
- Sentences do not floowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
- There are a lot of spelling mistakes throughout all of it

Review:
                 'His Death Was His Love' is a good vampire story that is based along the lines of fan fiction of the Vampire Diaries and The Originals, so if you enjoy both of them and don't mind some fan fiction - it's for you. The characters are similar to those in both series, some the same, and there's all new twists and dramas around power, witchcraft and much more. The descriptions of Elena are really beautiful and capturing to the reader

Blurb:

'He was the mistake of which she was the correction.
Her instinct was to kill him but love made its way without a warning.
He was the darkness of which she was the only light.
Light of path which can lead to his death only.
Will love prevail defying the right? Or will dark be diminished by light submerging the love?

{Story of Adrean Salvatore and Elena Claire}

A devilish vampire with witchy powers (heretic) and a powerful witch born to kill the devil heretic.'