Note - I believe that this story may have been removed and the author has changed their name as I can no longer find any record of it, after checking that it was in my reviewed books reading list.
Does anyone know what happened? AthenaPrue450
Title; The Ones Of Mincecraft Origins
Author; Sweet3lite
What is 'The Ones Minecraft Origins'? - It is an ongoing and quite-long Minecraft story!
Rating-
7/10
EBI-
1) Instead of saying definitely, you spell it 'definatley.' (The ones I caught were Chapter One when you talk about the pants and the beds.)
2) In Chapter One, you said that Sweet is eleven, but in Chapter Two, you said she's twelve...
3) You need to watch your dots- sometimes you put .. instead of ... or .
4) Also, (this is only a suggestion) you could go onto a new paragraph every time a different character is speaking (because otherwise you could confuse the reader...)
5) This is just an opinion...but I don't think that the cover for your story does it justice... that's me being totally honest, so feel absolutely free to ignore No. 5
6) You could try to add in some more plot twists and complex sentences to make it more interesting for your readers!
Review-
'The Ones Of Minecraft Origins' is a really sweet and sentimental story which has been really carefully written. Now, I'm not really that into Minecraft (although I have played it and whatnot), but this story was actually really fun to read. Imagine how good it would be if I absolutely adored Minecraft!
Your sentences really flow and melt into each other which is a great quality of writing to have, and it's overall a lovely thing to read. If you were to try your hand and set your mind on writing an original story with entirely new and fictional characters, I'm sure you would smash through that as well!
I love how you have three chapters on a character's story, and then another that has great potential.
Do I recommend this story?
-Yes! Definitely!
This story is absolutely for those who love something sweet and mine-crafty to read!
Fancy checking it out? Here's the link;
https://www.wattpad.com/story/31685304-the-ones-of-minecraft-origins
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