12) Amid The Winter Ashes

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Title: Amid The Winter Ashes
Author: SubjectX
What is 'Amid The Winter Ashes'?
-'Amid The Winter Ashes' is a horror story about a boy with a broken arm, a baby, and a dog.

Rating-
                   9/10

EBI-
                 The only way I can think of improving your story is trying to make more grammatical sense of some sentences, for example- 'The wind blew through the trees with such furiously that in one swift movement, a thick branch - along with a few smaller ones - came tumbling down from a great height.'

This sentence might make more sense if you said-
The wind blew furiously through the trees with such a force, that in one swift movement, a thick branch - along with a few smaller ones - came tumbling down from the same great height.' 
Or, you could say- 
'The wind blew through the trees so ferociously that in one swift movement, a thick branch - along with a few smaller ones - came tumbling down with it from a substantial/great height.'

Also, it's incredibly short! It's so, so, well written but there's only one chapter so far- which has been up for a few months (if I'm correct(?)) Maybe if you try to update regularly (maybe even every few weeks), then your readers will be more inclined to go back as soon as they can and snatch up the ending to the cliff hangers (which are perfectly executed, might I add).

Review-
            'Amid The Winter Ashes', although only one chapter uploaded so far, already has astounding potential. It's perfectly written, and the sentences flow easily all the while managing to communicate exactly what the author is trying to say. The start is great, and completely grabs the reader into a desperate situation where uncertainty is definitely key, which totally keeps him/her on edge. The vocabulary used is of a large range, and the language is every emotive.


Recommended?
              Absolutely! It got 9/10 for the sake of the heaven's!


For a direct link, see the 'reviewed books' list. Also, you can go straight to @SubjectX's page!

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